Glory Days
The Devil Made Me Do It

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Demons and Dorothys

Dolan house. Mike comes home in the morning with a big bruise on his chin, and tells Sara and Mitzi what happened. There's a completely pointless moment of non-suspense when someone knocks on the door and Mike answers and nobody's there! And then he goes back inside and there's somebody there! And, duh, it's Robbie. "I don't know what's happening to me," Robbie sniffles. I guess now Mike's like some kind of guidance counselor for all the pathological and potentially murderous teens in Glory now. Will he take them all on a hayride later on in the season or something?

Over at the police station, Ellie and some puffy pompous psychiatrist in a turtleneck question Robbie. Ma McNeil gripes that she's late for work and that there are bills to pay. Puffy Pompous Psychiatrist in a Turtleneck discuss Robbie's case with Mike and Ellie. "He's a real creative teen who's using his overactive video-generation brain as a cry for help," says PPP-in-a-T. What? A precocious, culture-savvy adolescent? On this show?

Robbie's piano instructor struts in; her topknot and high heels and the fur collar on her black suit just scream roleplay! "You have got to learn to control yourself," she says coldly. She refers to Robbie's episode as "letting off steam," and she is not amused. "I'll take it from here," she tells everyone. Robbie's mom is all, "Oh, oh yeah, okay, I'm just his mom, don't mind me while I hover around ineffectually and -- oop, hey! Gotta go." The piano instructor leaves with Robbie, hissing at him malevolently and telling him he has to practice his Juilliard piece. Meanwhile, the entire piano-lesson fetish community sighs and wishes she'd throw them over a piano bench, crank up the metronome, and administer spankings in perfect three-quarter time.

Ellie and Mike leave the police station. Ellie tells Mike she's been reading about the history of demonic possession, including the case that inspired The Exorcist, and says that there have been over two hundred cases of possession reported in the U.S. since the movie, and they've all been hoaxes, blah blah blah, and Mike blathers something about "theatrics that fall into a standard expectation of a possessed kid created by Hollywood," and then Ellie points out that the pseudonym used in the published case studies of the real-life Exorcist kid was "Robbie," which sounds significant until I realize it's a stupid coincidence, and Mike and Ellie are talking about absolutely nothing, and they've been talking about nothing for the last five minutes, and all their conversations to date have been about nothing, and I have to recap them all, and oh, I think I'll just go screw myself with a crucifix now or something.

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Glory Days

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