Glory Days
The Devil Made Me Do It

Episode Report Card
Wendola: D+ | Grade It Now!
Demons and Dorothys

Mitzi and PianoDom are just about to call Rudy up to sing when Robbie starts playing the piano maniacally. PianoDom stands up. "Robbie, you stop that!" she says. "Robbie McNeil, stop that THIS INSTANT!" Fetishists begin squealing. Suddenly, Robbie rises up into thin air and jerks around over the stage, shrieking in agony. Everyone is freaked out. Robbie rises higher toward the top of the stage and then his body goes slack and suddenly he falls back down on THE STAGE, and people still completely fall for it and scream and one of the Dorothys passes out. Then Robbie leaps up on the piano in full Robeelzebub mode. He's making all those weird sounds again: howl, growl, robble-robble. Then he hurls himself off the stage and jumps up on the table in front of PianoDom. "Rrrrrrr, bitch!" he barks, before running out of the auditorium. PianoDom seriously loses her shit.

Everyone leaves the school; Mike, Rudy, and Ellie set out to find Robeelzebub. PianoDom is alone in the auditorium waiting for Robbie to come back. She gets up to leave, and the lights go out. "Robbie?" she says. "Is that you?" She walks toward the stage. "Look, I'm not mad," she calls. "I'll let you touch my riding crop." She gets closer to the stage and tries to peer into the wings. Suddenly there's a little piano-y clang, and the big-ass baby grand piano on stage starts rolling towards her. She has way too much time to get out of the way, but instead she goes, "Yeeauggh!!!" and cowers, and the piano reaches the end of the stage and then it practically jumps by itself, like a thousand-pound cockroach, and lands on her. Clang! "Aieee!"

Birds fly over the rainbow; why, oh why, can't I?

Rudy, Mike, and Ellie are at the scene of the crime. PianoDom's legs are sticking out from under the piano, which is pretty hilarious, and Ellie has to lift the lid of the piano to look at the body, which is kind of funny, too. If there were a show called When Pianos Attack, I would totally watch it. The story is that someone unlocked the wheels on the piano and shoved it at PianoDom. For one whole stupid minute, the three of them actually seriously wonder if Robeelzebub was really levitating, until one of the deputies comes out from backstage with the theatrical fly rigging that Robbie used. "Wires," says the deputy, "from when the flying monkeys come down in the second act...looks like the kid self-rigged it." Okay, the kid was able to just lift his own entire body weight by himself with the fly wires? And he didn't need anyone backstage at the rail working the ropes and pulleys that control the counterweights according to basic laws of physics? And nobody saw the wires? And nobody knows a fuck about stagecraft? And nobody thought, "Gosh, the only other time I've personally seen someone fly into the air like that was -- on a stage, too! I wonder if that's like, a coincidence?" And nobody thought, "Say, that looks an awful lot like the flying effects that we're going to use in this here production of The Wizard of Oz that we're all very much involved with. I wonder if there might be some connection or something?" Hey, people -- when you actually put on this show, would you like to borrow my ass? Because I think you're going to need it for THE FLYING MONKEYS.

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Glory Days




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