Dr. Embry is pointing the gun at Ellie and blathering on that he loved his wife and nobody understands him and it's so painful to imagine his wife with another man. Vincent Van Goatcheese creeps up from behind and knocks out Dr. Embry with a clay sculpture. "Oh, thank God," says Ellie. Because that was one ugly clay nude. She turns to call Rudy, but then Van G. picks up the gun and points it at her. "You won't be calling anyone," he says.
Over at the Hash 'n' Whore, Mike, Rudy, and Hazel are comparing the Olympia murder victim's photo to one of Van Goatcheese's paintings. "It's her, all right," says Rudy. Okay, if someone painted a picture of me that looked like that and then recognized me from it, I would cry. They figure out that Van G. lived near Olympia, and that the woman in the painting was an art student, and Mike remembers all the creepy stuff Goatcheese was saying about his models' beauty never fading. "But what's his motive to drain his blood?" asks Rudy. Mike's stumped. "He's all about his art...it's got to be something..." Everybody suddenly notices the red, red lips on the woman in the painting and the red, red sheet she's wrapped in and...OH, GOD. No WAY. Blood SO does not dry that color, Glory Days writers; your girlfriends could have told you that. Mike has Hazel turn out the lights and he asks Rudy for the Luminol stuff. Mike sprays it all over the painting; all the red details start glowing blue. "Oh my God," says Hazel. Mike starts spraying more paintings. "They're painted in blood," says Rudy, in case we're as slow as he is. "He immortalizes them," says Mike smugly. But suddenly he remembers something. And then RUNS! RUNS! out of the diner. Either he remembers that Ellie could be Van G.'s next victim or else he ate a bunch of Olestra chips.
Ellie's all tied up on the couch in Van Goatcheese's studio. Van G. puts tape over her mouth and sticks a needle in her arm; the tube leads to a bucket. Um, that's going to take like, what? Two days? With a needle that size? Van G. explains that his paintings used to be lifeless until he figured out he could "bring life to it [sic]." Get it? Get it? The blood drips slo-o-ow-ly into the bucket. This scene really freaks me out, but that's just because I sold plasma a couple of times in college; the needle is even about that size. It's way more horrifying if I imagine Ellie going through the same thing: oh no! She has to just sit there for three hours! Next to some creepy guy from the bus station! She only brought her Earth Science textbook to read! She's bored and she's missing Dime Draws and she's only going to get twenty-five fucking dollars! Noooo! "Now my art can live forever," says Van Goatcheese. Just then, Mike and Rudy barrel in. Rudy points his gun at Van G. while Mike unties Ellie and pulls the needle out of her arm. Gun Fun this week consists of Goatcheese pointing the gun at Rudy and then at Mike. "You shoot him, I shoot you," says Rudy. "You hear me? You're a dead man!" "Oh no," says Van Goatcheese. "I'm going to live forever." He points the gun under his own chin and fires, so that his blood (and whatever) splatters all over the blank canvas behind him. That'll look great in Hazel's diner. Try the chili.