Rudy's creeping through the stock-horror Misty Dark Woods With The Distant Hooty-Hoot Sounds toward a house lying just beyond some No Trespassing signs. Mike sneaks up on him: typical boo-eek-ha-ha-very-funny antics ensue. He jokes that Rudy's looking for "his girlfriend." Rudy insists he's looking for suspicious activity. Mike says that if the blond Trampollonia turns out not to be a murderer, Rudy should "go for it." Rudy's not sure. Just then, Blond Trampollonia swings down from above with her trademark "Hhhaaarrghhh!" hiss and dangles upside down in front of them, hair dangling, like Bat Barbie. "Looking for me?" she giggles. I'm still not convinced she's a woman, y'all.
In the house -- which is decorated with five hundred black candles and cobwebs with a certain Pier One Imports flair -- Mike and Rudy meet the Trampire women: The Vampire LeSkank, Drag Queen of the Dammed, and Token Blacula. The Trampires say they're in town working on "a project," but they won't give any details. "I assure you, we're absolutely harmless," says Drag Queen of the Dammed. Rudy nods and turns to leave, but Mike wants to ask them about the whole vampire thing. "What do you have to do to become a vampire?" he asks them. "It's not something you decide after reading the entire works of Anne Rice," sneers The Vampire LeSkank. "We were awakened," says Drag Queen of the Dammed. Token Blacula still never says anything. And, okay, what's with all the Dark Arts chicks on this show wearing hootchie-mama clothes? All the people I've known who are into occult stuff go around wearing lumpy black sweatshirts with airbrushed wolves on them and wear pewter pendants that they bought from the incense cart at the mall. Anyway. Mike humors them and asks them if they're some kind of subset of goth culture. "Metaphysically speaking, we consider ourselves to be immortal," says Drag Queen of the Dammed, sauntering over to Rudy. "One of the benefits being incredible stamina." She practically presses herself against Rudy. Rudy's eyes widen. Somebody's sure glad to see someone else, and we don't think it's Rudy.