Hash 'n' Whore. Zane wants to talk to Sam about the kiss. Sam doesn't, and walks off somewhere. The Vampire LeSkank enters the diner wearing thigh-high boots, fishnets, and a shiny pleather hot-pant bare-midriff low-cut happy-hooker ensemble that comes with its own retractable go-go-club shimmy pole. She clomps over to Zane. Zane gets all giggly and asks her if it's true that she and her friends are really vampires. The Vampire LeSkank asks Zane if he's going to attack her with a wooden stake if she says yes. Zane tries not to think about wooden things and asks LeSkank if she's going to bite him. LeSkank says she will only if he wants her to. Would somebody please hand Zane a gym sock and a key to the men's room now? Mike is sitting at the counter watching them talk; he asks Hazel if LeSkank seems suspicious to her, and asks her to do him a favor, "for the sake of journalism." So then when the Vampire LeSkank is in the middle of inviting Zane to The Trampire Cabin that night, Hazel accidentally-on-purpose collides with her and spills a pitcher of water on her. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" screams Hazel, who then dabs at LeSkank's rubber clothes with a rag. "Don't worry, it's not holy water," she tells LeSkank. The whole distraction gives Mike a chance to sneak over and look in LeSkank's notebook: he finds the name "Sarah Palmer" written on the inside cover. Hazel hands the rag to Zane so he can finish wiping off LeSkank's clothes, or spray them with Armor-All, or whatever.
Mike returns to his spot on the counter and tells Hazel that he thinks The Vampire LeSkank, a.k.a. Sarah Palmer, had something to do with Jacinda Embry's murder. "Jacinda?" says Hazel. "She was in my art class. I think she was having a thing with the teacher." "Wait, she was married," says Mike. "Like that's never happened before," Hazel snorts. Meanwhile, The Vampire LeSkank stomps out, disgusted, while Zane shouts an apology. Sam comes over. "She's a freak," she says. "You should stay away from her." Zane turns to her, says he doesn't need her "expressed consent" to hang out with LeSkank, and stomps off, too.
Rudy walks into the police station. Deputy Tim informs him that "a very hot woman" is waiting for Rudy in his office. It's Drag Queen of the Dammed, wearing a teeny black camisole and extra-spandex-for -lapdance-action jeans. "We didn't really get a chance to talk at the bar," she tells Rudy. "And when you came over to the house, you were all business." "Ma'am, I'm the sheriff of this town," says Rudy. Draggy of the Dammed invites him out to dinner. "And maybe go back to your place for...a nightcap." She leans over, letting her boobies hang out, and writes down her cell phone number. "You think you're a vampire?" Rudy asks, sort of in disgust. "You're not afraid of me because I'm a vampire, Rudy. You're afraid of me because, deep down, you want me." She gets into his face. "Stop fighting yourself." It's all very...Crying Game.