Opening credits. I'll make fun of them some other time.
Sam and Zane are sitting on a dock by a lagoon, fishing. Fishing? Aww. These kids. Sam is complaining that they haven't gotten a single bite. Zane isn't saying anything. Sam says she thought the guy at the tackle shop said fish were supposed to like leeches. Zane still doesn't say anything, and just stares at Sam. Sam's like, "Zane? Hello?" Then Zane grabs her and kisses her hard. Sam pulls away and smacks him; they manage to do all of this holding fishing poles, for Christ's sake. "What are you doing?" says Sam. "Sorry," says Zane, "I thought it was time...something should happen between us." Sam is not amused. Zane says he could be hit by a bus tomorrow, anything could happen, and anyway they talk about it all the time. "Okay, just shut up! We don't talk about it all the time, you talk about it. So stop it." says Sam. "If you ever try to kiss me or even touch me without my expressed consent ever again, you will not live to be hit by a bus." Zane nods. Sam fishes some more. Meanwhile, during this whole conversation, the Prince protégé group Apollonia 6 decided to reunite and sit on a park bench behind them. That's the only rational explanation: a sassy brunette, a trashy blond, and a little black chick that never talks, all wearing sunglasses, have just sauntered over in a dazzling, color-coordinated array of pleather and velvet and fishnet and ass, shooting love in all directions. They sit down and cross their legs and unison and eat sandwiches while, I suppose, their white limo circles the block. They so trampy.
"Hey cute guy!" calls the brunette to Zane. "Come over here." Zane turns to look. "Try that maneuver on one of them and see how far you get," mutters Sam. Zane gets up and walks over to Trampollonia 6. The brunette takes off her shades to reveal that she looks frighteningly like Fairuza Balk from that movie The Craft. How awful is it not only to look exactly like another actress, but one named "Fairuza." The skanky brunette says her name is "Jade," and introduces "Rosalind" and "Sharla." Rosalind, of course, is the woman from the night before, and she looks even scarier and more mannish in the daylight. "We were all just talking about you," the brunette Trampollonia tells Zane, and they compliment him on his boyish charm and sweet nature and "virgin flair." Zane winces. "That's what I like in a man," says the skanky brunette. "Fresh, virgin blood." Rosalind, the blonde Trampollonia, says that they're staying at "the old McSweeny place" and they're "hoping to have a little fun." All three of these chicks -- well, the two who talk, anyway -- make great efforts to lick their teeth with every other syllable they speak; they seem be stricken with the same kind of Lascivious Tongue Palsy Cher has. It really bothers me. Just then Sam's fishing line starts reeling out and she starts tugging on her pole. "Oh my God, Zane, it's really big! It's like Moby Dick-ish!" Sam yells. Zane memorizes those two sentences to remember later, when he locks himself in his room. He excuses himself from Trampollonia 6 and runs back down to the dock. Just then, Sam is gasping in shock and looks down in the water. Zane's like, "What?" He looks down: Sam's line has caught on the dead body of a woman; she's floating face down and her ankles are bound. Another Prince protégé maybe? Sheena Easton?