Police station. Sheriff Rudy walks over to Deputy Tim's desk and asks him if he's followed up on the code eight on the 459 reds. Deputy Tim says another officer has the 459; he's working on the 415. "Then who's on the 374?" says Rudy. Get it? All those nutty police code numbers? That's some wacky cop hilarity for you. Or else they could be talking about gay bars. Hey! Speaking of that, here comes Mike. He walks into the station and asks Perky Secretary if Rudy's around; he then asks her to check Rudy's schedule to see if he's free on Tuesday, and to pencil Mike in. Rudy and Deputy Tim are still doing their Who's On 390 routine when Mike butts in. "What's a 390?" Mike asks. "Is that a crime? Big one? Little one? That number thing is so cool, man." Rudy tells Mike it's none of his business, like, for once. Mike whips out tickets to a Sonics/Wizards game. "They're playing Tuesday night," he says. "Bam! Michael Jordan! Courtside seats!" Now he is way overcompensating for his sweater. Rudy says he's busy, but Mike says he can't be; he checked with Perky Secretary. Rudy says that he "just can't go running off to some game," because he's the town sheriff, and he has responsibilities which Mike can't seem to understand. "Have fun at the game," he tells Mike, and goes back to working at his desk. Mike walks out, dejected. Perky Secretary stops him on his way out and whispers that the code for murder is 187.
At the Hash 'n' Whore, Mike is sitting at a booth, grimacing at his laptop from over the top of his gay sweater. Hazel comes by, sees what he's doing, and says that Mike's father did a story on Metal-Detector Guy fifteen years ago, and even back then it was old news. Ellie shows up. Oh, God, here we go with the Mike and Ellie dialogue. Mike starts in with the Philosophical Question About The Human-Interest Story That Is Really A Thinly-Veiled Inquiry Into Ellie's Deep Deep Psyche. There's lots of intense staring. Ellie responds with The Answer That Is Really A Metaphor For Her Own Deep Deep Psyche. More intense staring. More metaphors. Philosophical questions about the metaphors. Philosophical questions about the questions about the metaphors. Staring.
Dolan house. Sam comes home; Mitzi, Mike, and Gay Sweater are desperately trying to clean up in time for the open house they're holding for the Generics. Sam goes over to the window and watches Conrad leaving the Generic house and walking somewhere out back. Mike teases Sam, and Mitzi tells Sam that she should "go for it," and that Conrad's a "stud," and comments on his ass yet again. Sam is mortified.