Glory Days
There Goes The Neighborhood

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Generics and Graves

Mr. Generic starts chatting with Mike, who wants to ask him some questions for the Gazette story. Meanwhile, Conrad and Sam start up the stairs, but Conrad says he just wants to run across the street to get Zane's pocket knife, and asks Sam to cover for him. Sam offers to come along, but Conrad says that his dad doesn't like him to be out of sight. "If he asks, just keep pointing him to different rooms, and I'll be back soon." He looks around furtively and leaves. Then Sam grabs her coat and decides to go after him. Elsewhere, Mr. Generic is blathering to Mike that he and his family "are going to concentrate on the good life," and that they wanted "something more simple." Mike nods politely and brings up the fact that Conrad is being home-schooled, even though he was an exemplary student at his old school. Mr. Generic quickly explains that he now has time to "be a good dad." Mike asks him about Conrad's drug store job, and Mr. Generic starts to look uneasy and asks Mike what that has to do with the newspaper story. After a little more polite-yet-probing banter, Mr. Generic nervously excuses himself. Mike grins smugly. Welcome to Glory! Population: asshole.

Outside, Conrad runs through his back yard unaware that Sam is following him. He briefly looks for something in the trash bin by the garage, and then runs out the back gate into the woods. Conrad's racing through the forest with a flashlight and Sam runs after him. She loses track of him, and when she stops and looks around, he surprises her and asks what she's doing there. "It was so sneaky the way that you left, I was curious. What are you doing here?" "Waiting for you," Conrad tells her, suddenly all flirty-creepy. Just then, they see Rudy walking through the woods with a flashlight. Okay, this is one of those kinds of forest preserves, isn't it? At any rate, Conrad suddenly grabs Sam so that Rudy comes across them while they're kissing.

Back at the Dolan house, Conrad and Sam are sitting on the couch looking chastised while Mr. Generic explains to Rudy that "it's not like Conrad to be so irresponsible." Rudy says that they were just being kids, but it's just not a good time to be wandering around in the dark. Mr. Generic goes up to Conrad and says, coldly, "You said I could trust you." "You can, Dad, I swear," says Conrad. Jeez, it's not like Conrad was touching Sam's dirtypillows or anything, so cut it out with the V.C. Andrews parenting style, Dad. "They were just being teenagers," Mrs. Generic pipes up nervously. Mitzi says that, well, it's not a party until someone gets a little action. "Mom!" says Sam. Mr. Generic says it's time to go, and herds Mrs. G. and Conrad to the door. "I hope that this doesn't go into your story," he tells Mike. Sam steps up and says that she talked Conrad into sneaking out. "Blame me, sir, it was my fault," she says. Mr. Generic just looks at her like, "Whatever, slut." The Generics leave, and so does Rudy. "I hope he was a good kisser," Mitzi tells Sam. Sam's like, "Mom! I was almost arrested!" "I know. I hope it was worth it," Mitzi hisses. Sam goes upstairs. "She takes after me," Mitzi tells Mike, slyly. Thanks for sharing, Mom.

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Glory Days

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