Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: C+ | Grade It Now!

After the credits, the Botwins are still in the great room, watching Majestic being engulfed by wildfires. Too soon! Andy tells Nancy he's heard that arson is a sexual crime, and that Guillermo should have just "rubbed one out." Not with accelerant, though, maybe. Silas overhears, and quickly figures out that Nancy had something to do with it, in order to get the bikers out of the picture. Ignoring her denials, Silas tells Nancy he's proud of her. "Don't be," say Nancy and Andy in unison. Shane, excitedly watching the town's destruction, uses it as an opportunity to bring up Pittsburgh again (and, when Silas throws food at him, to whine to Judah to intervene), but Nancy shuts them both up by ordering them to go pack so they can get the hell out of their poorly constructed shack before the mere whiff of smoke causes it to fall over in defeat.

Another news report brings us over to Celia's, where Pam is standing in the driveway, giving a typically moronic woman-on-the-street interview. The reporter interrupts her to say that there's a mandatory evacuation order in lower Majestic, as we see Celia flitting back and forth from the house to the car behind her. Cut from the report to the regular view: a firetruck parks at the foot of Celia's driveway, blocking her in. She argues with the firefighter in charge, but he's so unimpressed by her that he and his guys run their hose through the open windows of her car. She whines that he'd feel differently if it were his house and stuff, but he snaps back that he lives in a crappy apartment and his ex-wife has all the nice things, which is all it takes for Celia to decide that under his yellow coat is (probably) a fine ass; hell, she lives in Majestic now, so she might as well take it on faith. She tells him she's taking the shuttle to the rec centre where evacuees are temporarily bunking, making sure to give him her number on her way out. I'm not sure it's safe for this guy to consider relations with a woman who's obviously soaked in alcohol, but you never know.

Heylia, Vaneeta, and Conrad, meanwhile, are packing up the contents of the grow house. Vaneeta philosophically says that they already have a lot of the plants, and that either the house will burn and they'll rebuild, or it won't, and they'll go back to work as usual. Heylia is not so sure, and announces that she's too old to keep living on the edge, and intends to start a marijuana club instead. Conrad asks whether she'll buy from him, and she says she will, as long as she doesn't have to know where he's growing, or see his "fucking girlfriend." Conrad teenagers that Nancy isn't his girlfriend, so Heylia corrects herself: "Your cock-charming fuck buddy." She adds that she's done fighting with Conrad over Nancy, since she won't win anyway, but that she hopes Nancy can cook a turkey because she isn't welcome at Heylia's for Thanksgiving. Eh, I'm not sure Nancy's so much with the eating holidays anyway. Before Conrad can try to give Heylia any lip on this front, his phone rings, and of course, it's Nancy, because Conrad doesn't have any other friends.

News report. The fire, it burns! As the reporter wraps up her item and gets ready to get out, the camera pans down to a shuttle, where Dean is being unloaded from a bus under Isabelle's nagging eye. Dean apologizes to the bus driver for her bitchery, but she snaps at him not to be a pussy and reminds him that she's not always going to be there. I guess this is all she can do for him until Celia finally pushes her too far and forces Isabelle to murder her. (Season 6.)

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