9:14 - Drew Barrymore is totally flustered. She's never won a Globe, but she's acting like she never won anything. Ever. Which may be accurate? Must research. Mo'Nique gets a shout-out for setting the bar tonight, speech-wise, although Streep's speech kind of took that bar and did some crazy-ass gymnastics on it.
9:19 - Is Christopher Guest doing commercials for the U.S. Census? Or are the people who are normally in his movies just tired of waiting for him to organize a reunion?
9:21 - Expected Cameron Diaz to defend Alec Baldwin against Tom Hanks' dis, but maybe she agrees that he's not preferable to Stanley Tucci as a lover.
9:24 - Jason Reitman totally loves George Clooney. He wants to have like a million of his babies.
9:26 - There's no "previously scheduled charity event," Alec Baldwin is just tired of accepting awards. We bet it gets old after a while.
9:33 - Timeless beauty Sophia Loren is here, hopefully to address the fact that one of the girls on Teen Mom named their spawn in her honor. Weird, she didn't mention it. Guess there wasn't time.
9:35 - God, critics are practically sacrificing virgins in praise of this White Ribbon movie. Anybody actually seen it yet? Worthy of the hype?
9:37 - Amy Poehler looks straight-up beautiful.
9:39 - And Mad Men pulls another win! What is this, the Grammys? But somehow even more repetitive?
9:40 - Worse hair tonight: Colin Farrell or Vincent Kartheiser? (Or was that James LeGros? Hard to tell.)
9:46 - Upset Alert! Chloe Sevigny beat Jane Lynch! And Chloe Sevigny is the worst actor in the world! (And, at least tonight, possibly the worst-dressed.)
9:48 - Aww, she thanked a lowly PA, and kept it concise. I changed my mind I love her -- so talented!
9:50 - Halle Berry's still a person? Well good for her.
9:51 - The Jew Hunter won! Finally some justice! #quotesihopenevergettakenoutofcontext
9:56 - Robert De Niro just made like eight jokes about Martin Scorsese's sex life. I feel uncomfortable.
10:01 - I feel like breaking Scorsese's films down into their comedic scenes and romantic scenes is somehow cheapening his work. "Cue wacky Scorsese joke montage!" And ending on a glorified commercial for his next movie doesn't help.
10:05 - Is it just me, or does that point of hair on De Niro's forehead make him look like he's in the Misfits?