9:11 - You stay weird, Tilda Swinton. "The PILLARS of the EAARRTH."
9:14 - Fun fact: Nobody is allowed to cut off Al Pacino. It's simply not done. His speech just euthanized the entire room.
9:16 - Of course, Claire Danes won Best Actress in a TV Movie, but it was worth it to hear Tilda Swinton say "Jennifer Love Hewitt, The Client List." So surreal.
9:20 - Is it just me, or did every woman in that audience look ready to murder Claire Danes?
9:23 - First Trent Reznor, now Zac Efron? Where has everyone's hair gone? Christian Bale took it, didn't he?
9:26 - Wow, King Gorge "V-I" got a HUGE laugh? They ARE drunk in there.
9:27 - Aaron Sorkin's dialogue in The Social Network was amazing, but Christopher Nolan's screenplay for Inception was mind-blowing. Glad these scripts won't be competing against each other at the Oscars. And we have to put our usual Sorkinfreude aside to give him credit for giving Mark Zuckerberg props in his speech. Will they be Facebook friends now?
9:29 - "These women are superheroes of acting"? "Smart girls have more fun"? Why so much lady patronizing tonight? And why does it have to be as awkward as humanly possible?
9:32 - For those keeping score, Robert Downey Jr. and Jane Lynch are winning the Best Being Good at Saying Amusing Things category so far tonight. You know, this show would be a lot more interactive if they gave side awards like that during the show. On a related note, due to ideas like that, I should never be in charge of anything.
9:33 - Nice that Jane Lynch gave Ian Brennan credit for writing all of Sue Sylvester's dialogue. Without him, Jane's still stuck doing bit parts in Apatow flicks.
9:39 - "There are some gorgeous women here tonight. And very smart!" WHO CARES IF THE ACTRESSES ARE SMART? No one's pointing out how smart the male actors are. Stop being weird.
9:43 - Happy that Laura Linney won a much-deserved award for Best Comedy Actress. She completely carries The Big C. But beyond sad for her that her dad passed away yesterday, which is why she isn't at the ceremony.
9:46 - Holy crap, Jane Fonda here with pointy shoulder pads to introduce Burlesque. How else could we make that movie even more fabulous than it already is? Liza doing double time steps in a full Vegas showgirl headdress behind her? Mariah Carey ripping a butterfly's wings off in Hello Kitty footie pajamas? I could go on, but Sheldon Cooper just won a Golden Globe! And sweet Kaley Cuoco is so happy for him! How lovely. How Bazinga.