8:59 On to Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television. If Hugh Bonneville wins for Downton, you can switch over in a minute to PBS to watch him in the second episode of Season 2.
9:00: Nope, Idris Elba wins instead. As my wife says, "I haven't seen the show, but he's very good looking." No argument here on either count.
9:03: "Hello, I'm Seth Rogen and I'm currently trying to conceal a massive erection." We would have agreed with that a few years ago re: Beckinsale, but these days she's morphing too closely into late-period Nicole Kidman to get a rise out of us.
9:04: So we're all agreed that Michelle Williams is a lock for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture -- Comedy Or Musical, right?
9:04: Good job everyone. That was a gimmie. Charlize wuz robbed! (Though, of course, we liked Michelle, too, even though that film is neither a comedy nor a musical.)
9:08: Coming back from commercial and straight into Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television. Peter Dinklage, yes?
9:09: Yes! And he looks so thrilled to be there. More gold for Casterly Rock!
9:10: Don't you play Tyrion off. He will cut you.
9:11: Ricky: "You're so much better than last year's audience!" No, they're just humoring you so you get off the stage faster.
9:12: "The Cloonmeister General." We will henceforth use that moniker to describe Clooney for the duration of his career.
9:14: Beat Animated Feature film is up next. Sure, why not? It's not like the order of the awards tonight has made sense anyway.
9:15: Seeing that clip from Rango makes us love the movie all over again.
9:15: But Tintin wins instead. Like we said in our predictions, this is a token award to Spielberg since War Horse ain't winning anything. Not that Tintin is undeserving mind you.
9:21: Seth Rogen's name sounds infinitely cooler when said with a Scottish accent. He should hire Ewan to introduce him at every public event.
9:23: Best Screenplay -- Motion Picture goes to Woody Allen. Nicole Kidman tries to tell us that he thanks the HFPA. No, he doesn't. He's watching basketball right now.