9:55: And hello Reese Witherspoon! Yeah, she's not unpleasant to look at, at all. (That new movie she's in, on the other hand...)
9:57: Sidney Poitier introduces God. Or, as he's known in his daily life, Morgan Freeman. His speech is excruciating.
9:59: Good on Helen Mirren for trying to inject some humor into this dry rite of passage. Couldn't get Sidney to crack a smile, though.
10:03: Okay, the Electric Company clip of Easy Reader in Freeman's tribute reel wins the night. Freeman has never been better. Yes, even in Shawshank.
10:05: This whole Freeman segment has been so painful, we wish Andy Dufresne could help us tunnel out of our skulls.
10:11: Robert Downey Jr. just remembered that he was supposed to present tonight. We're betting his Iron Man gear is stored stage left.
10:13: It's up to Angelina Jolie to award Best Director to Michel Hazanvicius.
10:14: We take that back! Martin Scorsese wins instead and we can't stop smiling. Just wish the amount of people giving him a standing ovation didn't outnumber the amount that actually saw the film.
10:15: That's Marty for you... never misses an opportunity to mention film preservation (or the fact that his daughter encouraged him to make Hugo).
10:16: That's the first big hit The Artist has taken this awards season. A harebinger of things to come?
10:17: Whatever Ricky just said got bleeped big time. We're guessing it related to Salma Hayek and her enormous... uh, talents.
10:18: The HFPA: the only organization that still remember Glee exists and nominates it for Best Television Series -- Comedy Or Musical.
10:18: Modern Family denies New Girl the token "New TV Show On the Block" victory.
10:19: Following up on the glower-off between Poitier and Freeman earlier, we know of a cleavage-off between Vergara and Hayek. The winner? All of us.
10:20: And with that, the Globes run out of TV awards. It's movies from here on out, folks. All you television people can get an earlier start on getting your cars from the valets.
10:25: Mark Wahlberg complements Jessica Biel on her pronunciation of "Jean Dujardin" while reading the nominee list for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture -- Comedy Or Musical. Condescension or is he genuinely impressed?