8:31 - Salma Hayek and Paul Rudd together on screen to announce the Best TV Actor. Their beauty should soften the upcoming snubs...
8:32 - Yup, sorry Jon and Bryan, Damian Lewis takes it for Homeland.
8:33 - You guys, I think Brody has really gone off the deep end -- he's talking like Hugh Laurie or something... I'm scared.
8:34 - Wait, it's already time to announce Best Drama in the most awkward way imaginable? Seriously, how wasted is the GG announcer right now?
8:35 - Homeland. Well, at least the HFPA didn't keep us waiting, and seeing Aaron Sorkin clapping through his disappointment brought me a certain amount of joy.
8:37 - Who is that young man on stage next to Dana Brody? Is that her boyfriend or something? And what is that strange thing on her face? Could it be... a smile?
8:37 - Oh my gosh, spoiler alert Alex Gansa!
8:41 - Fantastic joke we saw on Twitter, where we're also livetweeting: "@joshmalina: Did Paul Rudd and Selma Hayek study with Second City?"
8:42 - Wow, so that's what Ben Affleck is going to look like in 20 years.
8:43 - I'm still kind of disappointed that at no point in Argo did the gang chant, "Ducks fly together!"
8:45 - And Life of Pi takes Best Original Score - Motion Picture. I'm like 99 percent sure I saw Mychael Danna die in Lincoln.
8:47 - And now Best Original Song. At least Ted can't win, right?
8:48 - New mom Adele wins for Skyfall and thanks her son! We're not worthy! This is Beyonce at the VMAs all over again. Matthew Weiner needs to cast her on Mad Men. No hair, makeup or wardrobe changes necessary.
8:54 - I didn't realize the iPad was joining the cast of Smash this season, that's kind of cool.
8:55 - Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie. The Internet will explode because of Benedict Cumberbatch regardless.
8:56 - I don't like Tina and Amy playing fake nominees, but only because they aren't and there aren't more of them.
8:56 - Kevin Costner wins for Hatfields & McCoys and everyone in the room looks like they're trying to hold in their farts.
8:57 - Jessica Lange is just like, whatever, I'm going for it.
8:58 - Bill Clinton is here! Fuck off, movies! Lena Dunham is so Instagraming this right now.
8:59 - Oh, I'm sure he knows all about pushing a Bill through Congress. Literally everything out of his mouth sounds like an innuendo because I am still living in the '90s.