MONDO EXTRAS

Hall for Dexter, Jon Hamm for Mad Men (squeee), Hugh "Better Not Win Again" Laurie for House, Jonathan Rhys Meyers for Tudors and Gabriel Byrne for In Treatment. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Gabriel Byrne? He's not even there! Jon Hamm got his hair all undorky just for this event.

8:30: Chris Pine and Zach Pinto from Star Trek are announcing Best Actress in a TV Drama Series. Sally "Gidget" Field for Brothers and Sisters, January Jones from Mad Men, Anna Paquin from True Blood, Kyra "Confeyuss" Sedgwick and Mariska Hargitay for Law & Order: SVU, who much as I love her, better not effing win. Anna wins! Sex! Totally deserved. Blood and sex wins every time fools. January Jones is way too sterile. No joke. Side Note: Dear Anna, please fix your teeth and indeterminate accent. Hold up, did she forget to thank Alan Ball, or am I just drunk?

8:36: It's Ricky Gervais o'clock! Leave it to him to tell all of Hollywood to shut the hell up while holding on to his drink for dear life. Apparently he advised Kate Winslet to take a Holocaust film because it would be a sure win. The voices in his head are making an appearance by the look of the hand puppets. He's announcing Happy Go Lucky.

8:39: OMG. The Jo Bros. are here! Beyonce is stoked. None of their voices have changed yet. In keeping with their prepubescent theme, they're here to announce Best Animated Feature Film. Bolt. Kung Fu Panda. Wall-E which made me cry copious tears so it better effing win or I give up on life. FRIG YEAH. WALL-E wins it. I don't feel like a loser. Andrew Stanton the blonde lion is accepting. This is the nerdiest nerd's shining moment. Oh smack Jo Bros stepped on Potato Head Willis's dress!

8:42: And it's Johnny Depp presenting Best Actress in a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy: Rebecca Hall for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Sally Hawkins for Happy Go Lucky, Meryl "Don't Win Or I'll Puke" Streep for Mamma Mia!, Emma Thompson for Last Chance Harvey and Frances McDormand for Burn After Reading. On the real, is Johnny Depp sucking the blood of virgins? He looks 21 Jump Street-era good. Sally Hawkins wins! Hurrah! She looks like PJ Harvey meets Kate Beckinsale, i.e. super anorexic and a mess.