MONDO EXTRAS

Faux humbleness is very attractive.

8:46: Ok this is painful. Please say goodnight Sally.

8:47: Tom Cruise is hob-nobbing in the crowd. I am afraid.

8:51: It's Jake Gyllenhaal! Tom's taking his seat quickly. Oh, he's here to announce Benjamin Button. Jakey is extra hirsute today.

8:53: Ah, so this is why Drew Barrymore is here. For Grey Gardens! Giggle Tyme! Drew and Jessica Lange are here to announce the nominees for Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for TV: A Raisin in the Sun starring P. Dids, Bernard and Doris starring Ralph Fiennes and Susan Sarandon, Cranford starring Judi Dench and some other Brit broads. John "Super Gonna Win" Adams starring Sideways dude Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkie, and Recount starring Wilkie (again), Laura Dern, Kevin Spacey and Denis Leary. Da winner eeeez: John Adams. Way to get rid of that lisp, Drew! Tom Hanks is on craaaack! But he ruled in Splash so I forgive him!

8:57: Demi Moore takes the stage, and according to the announcer is apparently starring in several upcoming projects I've never heard of. She takes a break to tell Rumer to stand up straight. Oh, moms! Back to business. Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture, otherwise known as "The Heath Ledger One." Hey look, it's Tom Cruise! Nominated for Tropic Thunder. He's laughing like a maniac, of course. The Rest: Robert Downey Jr. (Tropic Thunder), Ralph Fiennes (The Duchess), Philip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt), and duh, Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight). Obviously Heath wins. I was thisclose to suspecting a Hoffman upset, but that was probably foolish of me. Christopher Nolan is accepting for Heath and the whole room is on its feet. Now we're watching one of Heath's Dark Knight scenes, followed by Christopher Nolan bringing the sad and talking about how wonderful Heath was and the legacy he left behind. Nobody wants to follow that act, so we're at commercial, buzz thoroughly killed for all.

9:05: Tom Brokaw takes the stage for some reason. He's one of those people who always make me feel like I'm watching someone do an impression of him. I just can't believe someone actually sounds like that. He's talking about the good old days of being a White House Press Correspondent in the Nixon era.