"Oh, you couldn't stand my stealing your spotlight!" Why wouldn't Hamilton House want you? "Yeah, while you were at NYU begging for middle class minions, I had a job!" You can't seriously be referring to your... "I learned a lot about the issues!" You mean your Daddy Issues? "Oh, like you're so healthy? 'I love Chuck, I hate Chuck, I love Chuck, I hate Chuck...'" And who do you love? Nate, then Dan, then Dan again, Aaron, Gabriel, Carter, Tripp, then Dan again, then Nate again. Did your father finally fix that? Because he seemed pretty busy giving your mom fake cancer!
Gor. Geous. I feel like only the Rachel Zoë/Brad Goreski creature could invent words for how wonderful it feels to hear all of that at once. My goodness. And but still this feeling that it's less about them saying this shit for once and more for this one long-form shaggy-dog joke that still doesn't really matter at all where Juliet gets served.
Some episodes I'd rhapsodize about how they're finally saying it, but it doesn't play that way. It just plays, like too many jokes so far this season, as a little wink to us the viewers. Which, the whole show is a wink to us the viewers, so the pandering handjob has a limited shelf-life. I honestly, I thought that last year's plummeting ratings would result in a fourth-year/pre-cancellation creative renaissance like with O.C. and Ugly Betty, and I'm not saying that didn't happen -- this season is fucking great so far -- but there's been more self-aware pomo dick-jerking so far than I've seen on any show with this high profile, in quite awhile. It's like the first twenty minutes of Easy A in here, every week. And I truly thought we'd hit the roof on that last year, between all the waffles and the fucking constant annoying Dorota shit.
...Hey, it's Dorota. Offering champers to Juliet as she pulls back the literal curtain on Serena and Blair on a chaise looking fabulous and chill, having set the whole thing up with GG ahead of time to... Still not clear. Prove that they're still friends? Which is a nice switch-em-up for us the viewer and, in a certain way that only matters to the three of them, a burnface on Juliet, but why all of FNO had to be involved or how it changes the situation? Still not sure. Her fake position in a pointless secret society is now in doubt. Maybe Nate grows a brain and realizes this is the fifth freaky game she's pulled on them in only three episodes. But come on.