"Admittedly, your ploy to blame me for Serena not getting into Hamilton House would've worked in high school, but not now." S agrees, saying she would never believe a total stranger over her mentally ill best friend. Juliet plays dumb, and we learn that GG did this as a favor because she "prefers to be the only one screwing with us," Nate walks in and mumbles confusions, and -- even though, as Juliet points out, the "secret" part of a secret committee means they couldn't know about it -- half of the board members of Bass Industries, being Ham House alumni, knew the Keymaster was misbehaving. "Serena has always been at the top of the list," Lily grins, and Serena takes her key gratefully.

Cute fashion people parting like the Red Sea, Nate runs off after Juliet, who has apparently been shamed out of this secret society but not by the gratuitously involved setpiece that just took up a quarter of their lives, but not before yelling at Serena for her "little show." Serena's confused -- home doesn't exist until we're there, remember -- because Nate's her friend and doesn't hold a grudge. And then Nate, beautifully -- It's official! He really does think this slow -- goes, "I guess it took me until now to realize just how mad I am at you," for her various pre-summer offenses: Kissing Dan while she wasn't dating Nate, and then going to France.

Well, I can kind of see where he's coming from because the whole time she was gone, he was doing all these insane things to get her attention, the hookers and pretending to date Juliet and whatever, like, he's had a lot of character development already this year just because of his many attempts to hamfistedly created drama, but: It's Serena. It doesn't matter. And not because you're both retarded: It doesn't matter because she wasn't paying attention, because it seriously doesn't matter. You were playing a game and she was on a different field, excelling in an unrelated sport, and you think that what matters to you matters.

But that's honestly how boys actually are: "I rode my bike past your house eleven times! It was like praying!" I was not even home most of those times! "You're still (500) Days of Bitch!" And yet I still don't understand or care! Could you just be cool like one time? "You don't comprehend love!" No, I just don't comprehend what your mental fantasy realm has to do with my actual life.