"Yeah, I... I might have seen Asher kissing another guy." She almost loses her cool -- almost -- as she delights in it, and asks for details, but Dan doesn't really have any because Asher's big sexy head was in the way. "What does that even matter?" he asks, and B just shakes her head, rendering the question irrelevant: "Right now Gossip Girl's credibility is the same as Tinsley Mortimer's after a few martinis, but if I can prove that his duplicity is more than just a rumor, then they'll break up. That's what you want, isn't it?"

(So awesome in so many ways, firstly because Tinsley and Topper Mortimer are unironic monster obsessions of mine, secondly because B's drawing a trap around Dan that he only half-recognizes as yet, and third because I have a reason to link to this, and hopefully spread my intense love for Richard Lawson to all of you, my friends.)

Dan agrees, so far, so B pushes it: "Asher's just using your sister as a cover. It's your brotherly duty to save her from becoming the next Katie Holmes!" Dan's like, "Because you love Jenny so much?" And she shakes her head gorgeously: "Motive is irrelevant, as long as our endgame is the same." The only thing stronger than Dan's inability to understand Blair's rules is Blair's inability to understand why everybody won't play along with them: "No. Blair, this is not a game to me, okay? I don't want her to get hurt." Which cat, B points out, is out of the Spade at this point, because he's already managed to tell the whole of Manhattan that his sister's "a glorified hag." Of course, because nobody in the history of creation has ever directly confronted Dan about his infinite hypocrisy, he freaks out and grabs his rucksack and jacket, all, "You know what? I... You're on your own," and heads off to repent or pray or burn books or something. "I'm done." And B just smiles sweetly, still a bit confused as to his actual issue here: "Suit yourself!"