Lily, still perseverating on the biggest of her fantasies, has dragged her "friend" Rufus to a bridal shop so she can try on dresses. Lily, girl, you kill me. From behind the curtains, she can't quite believe her perfectly shaped ears: "Really, Rufus, what were you thinking? You threw her a surprise birthday party and had her face painted on a cake with a tiara?" Because that's how queer Rufus is, yes. He blushes and admits it seemed like a good idea at the time, and she points out that in the '90s, we said the same of flannel and acid-washed jeans, but they weren't too flattering either. Speaking of flattering apparel, the curtains whoosh open on Lily in a white wedding dress, looking fucking stunning. His jaw actually drops.
"What is it? Is it too much?" No response whatsoever. "Uh, not enough?" He can't tear his eyes off her, and his voice is soft. It's not the dress: "It's you in it."
She clamps down on her delight and turns, looking at him through the mirror. "I'm sorry. I thought... Um. I didn't mean... We're here as friends, right?" Right, yeah. He takes his time raising his eyes from the floor. "No, we are friends." She looks at him through the mirror, gone soft and sweet, and everything is perfectly perfect:
"It's just how you look."
The Bitches make their way down the hall, having heard not a peep from Gossip Girl in three hours. "Guess she wasn't kidding about her new standards." The whole "people use GG as a weapon of war" idea is a sweet one, but you can't really keep going there, so it's super cool that they introduced this idea and then dropped it. All six-foot-ten of Serena van der Woodsen comes barreling down the hall, grabbing Jenny and twirling her around: "Hey, Jenny! Sorry I can't chat, but have so much fun at your party tonight!" And then she's gone. What a magical moment! I love her so much.
Horny Penelope fully goes, "...Totally running to a booty call with your brother," and Jenny just about gags that she went there, and Hazel asks where-all Jenny's been going. Penelope -- who is way too invested in all this, I think, but in order for the story to work, one of the Bitches has to be, to speak it aloud -- is all, "You and Asher..." And Jenny tells them far enough. Penelope's suspicious, and Hazel thinks her coyness means maybe Asher's gay after all, which is kind of the thing creeping up through Jenny's hazy, weird little brain anyway, so then Jenny gets super awesome.