Serena plugs it in, shaking, and a video pops up, from the night of the Shepherd wedding. Georgina says, "If you put the camera over there, she'll never know..." and she and man share a kiss, laughing. "Are you sure she's gonna be down for this?" Georgina grins, you can hear it: "It's Serena. She goes down for anything." Serena enters the suite, and Georgina calls out, "Hey, baby! How are the new Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd?" Serena giggles. "I just did something so stupid..." (Named Nate Archibald!) and Serena fast-forwards the video, to herself, struggling weakly: "It's hot. I'm too hot..." It was like a fever. Her skin goes hot. The man agrees: "You are too hot," and soon enough either S or G is moaning, and then he joins in. Serena slams the computer closed, and goes to her dresser, confused, out of her mind with it, slipping the drive between the pages of a book before jerking it out again and shoving it into a drawer, and runs.

...Smack into Lily van der Woodsen, pissed as hell, just on her way to Serena's room. "Where do you think you're going?" Serena tries to get away, promising to explain later, but Lily, face tight and angry, stands her ground. "If you invite an old friend to our quiet family dinner, I expect you to stay and eat." As Georgina comes around the corner, the anger drains from Lily's face; she buttons up, and speaks softly, smiling. "You know how I always loved when Georgina came around," she spits, eyes flashing. Georgina pretends to oblivion as usual, burbling, "I ran into Lily in the lobby. You totally forgot to tell her I was coming over for dinner!" She kisses Serena's cheek, under the hateful eyes of Lily, and S, distracted, kisses the air. "Did you get my present?" Serena just stares at G's totally insane smile and tries not to pass out.

"Breaking news: Asher Hornsby overheard bragging that Little J swiped her V card at his register..."

Jenny tries on clothes in DUMBO, reading about herself on Gossip Girl, feeling appalled at herself and taking strides to ignore it. She's doing okay until Dan comes running, brandishing his phone, demanding to know if it's true. "It's private?" she scolds him, and he responds that, actually, it's on the internet. "Yeah well, it's none of your business. And since when did you start reading Gossip Girl blasts anyway?" Since about the time she became the subject of them, Dan explains, which is at least three-quarters true. "You're fifteen years old, and I'm your big brother. It is my business." She assures him it's not true, but all that does is confuse him more, and she turns suddenly: "You can't tell anyone, though. Everyone has to believe it." Dan is so confused that his next question makes no sense at all: "Are you saying that you actually want your friends to think that you're sleeping with a guy who's gay?" I can't even parse that one. Jenny asks if he always believes GG, and he admits that he didn't just read the Asher tip, he submitted it.