"Awww, come on. I'm just having a little fun. Remember? Like old times. You and me, pretending to be different people... Svetlana, and Savannah..." Serena shakes her head, because this isn't a game. She doesn't even know where the tape came from, she was too fucked up. "It's just a friendly game!" Georgie says ("Oh, sweetie. We just started to play!"), but Serena's exasperated: "But we're not friends!" Georgina touches her hair lightly, trying to light it, but she shoves her hand away. "Oh, I think we are. You see, because with me as your enemy, Dan sees this. And if the heavy petting doesn't send him running... Well, I'll bet what happened after will."
Dan and Vanessa come smiling back, asking what they missed. Serena smiles hard, like her mother: "Nothing. It's like Sarah and I have ... known each other for years." Sarah giggles sweetly, and Dan's happy. Serena looks at Vanessa, still too edgy to be friendly: "We don't need the laptop anymore, thanks." They look at Sarah, and she shakes her head. "No, I got a little shy about showing it. Maybe next time?" Vanessa quirks her head, but lets it go; Georgina grins at Serena. Brooklyn is hers now.
Back at the party, as Jenny and the Bitches discuss her virginity, the music's still talking: "Shut up and let me go / This hurts, I tell you so / It's you that ought to be holding me / This hurts, but I can't show..." Penelope asks if it was as special as she'd hoped, and she and Hazel make nasty comments about each other's first, not-so-special times, and Jenny clinks drinks with them: "I mean, yeah. Asher made me feel really safe." Hazel tells her how rare, and how lucky that is, and she's aware. Weird little Elise runs up, shouting about Blair's crash, and Jenny's like, "The fuck?"
Blair makes her way through the crowd, tapping Asher on the shoulder with his phone. "We need to talk." He sends his boys away, and she offers him the phone. "Whatever you found, it's not what it looks like." Great opener, Hornsby. "It's ... always what it 'looks like,' and judging by the texts and photos, it 'looks like' a little more than friendship." He asks what she's going to do with them, and she admits that if she didn't love his "friend," she'd already have taken down him and Jenny both. "Too bad you don't care about him the same way..." she starts, and Eric walks in behind her. "It's okay, Blair. I can handle this."
Two awesome things happen: just as Asher's shouting, "What's he doing here?" Jenny comes lurching into the room with her cocktail in the air, looking like that lady from The Rescuers, derangedly shouting the same thing about Blair. Portrait of Jenny in ten years! This show is so Bugsy Malone sometimes, I love it. Meanwhile in the back of the scene, Nelly Yuki is wearing crazy blue plastic glasses. What was life like before Nelly Yuki? I don't want to think about it.