Eric watches Asher and Jenny, kissing in the Constance courtyard, and his face is noncommittally miserable. It's like a fever. The Bitches watch from a foot away, but he's standing in shadow. Jenny screams and giggles with the Bitches, and by the way her hair is totally cute in every scene this episode, even when she's acting wildly crazy, and Eric appears, and asks her if she has a minute.
"Something wrong?" That was his opener, actually: "Where have you been lately? You haven't returned any of my calls..." She stammers and apologizes. This is what it's like for Serena, every day, with her brother: "It's been harder than I thought to keep up with schoolwork, and the new spring social calendar, and my new boyfriend..." Eric plays the same card as Sarah: "Yeah. Asher, right?" He knows his name, he watched him leave. "Yeah! He's cute and smart and basically perfect!" And I know that Vanessa and Sarah just explained this to us, but I can't stop thinking about how Jenny was like, "Nobody has a boyfriend, I am going to invent boyfriends." It's only been a week for us, and two weeks for the older guys, but for Jenny it's been a lifetime. I mean, think about it. First love is like cramps: We can watch you have them, but we don't really get it.
"And the best part is, I think he really likes me!" Eric -- talking just like his mother throughout this scene, which I love, because this is exactly how Lily would approach this, and how she'd fuck it up, and the fact that he's emulating her not just in his words but in his affect is just so tight -- is like, "Then he has good taste! But... how well do you actually know him?" She squeals and OMGs about how he's being protective, and Eric's already tired of this conversation about Jenny, and topics like Herself, so he denies it, but then catches himself and realizes that's exactly what he's being. "Yes. Yes, I am. I've got nothing against him, I just... Something about him makes me feel maybe he's not the right guy for you." Jenny and Herself are all, "OMG you have a crush on me!"
Eric's face -- a mixture of being truly shocked and being amazed at how fucking ridiculous Jenny has become -- is awesome, and he stammers out a very firm denial, but it's Jenny's movie right now. "-- Don't be embarrassed! It's cute. I mean, and not so unexpected, actually. I'm flattered. It's just... My heart belongs to Asher." Is any sentence in the language more perfectly Jenny? I still hate her, but the frightening amount of sense she's been making lately goes completely overboard in this episode, in the saddest ways possible. "... I actually gotta go, but um, text me, 'kay?" She kisses his cheek and runs off, doing the "'kay?"/hang up thing now twice, with a fake kiss on top, and runs off. Eric's like, "Um, great. Later." I dunno, I think there's an angle on this whereby Little J was the first person he told about his scary stuff, which kind of makes her the Blair for him, and I think we're supposed to be just as grossed out as we are by this fakeness. Because Blair has never said anything that she didn't mean, like, ten times more than mere mortals mean things, but Jenny hasn't said one true thing -- or one thing that approached reality, or Jenny -- in this whole episode.