I mean, what would you do? That is some Cousin Peepers behavior.
BROOKLYN OR SOME SHIT
Chuck deigns to join Drunky Dan on some stoop somewhere and cuddle close for warmth and put his arms around him and whisper into his hair.
Chuck: "Why don't you tell me why you antagonize Blair at her own wedding shower?"
Dan: "I am a man of action!"
Chuck: "I told you to get some ass, not make one of yourself. Look, little buddy. It wasn't until I saw you confronting Blair that I realized I had it all wrong."
Dan: "What are you saying, Charlie T?"
Chuck: "You're in love with her."
Dan: "I'm in love, but not..."
Chuck: "Hush. You can blame it on your tell-all novel, or your perennial status as an outsider, but we both know Blair doesn't care about any of that. She follows her heart, and she chose Louis. We both lost. At least this time you have someone outside with you. Now... can we please get you home before someone sees me sitting here like this?"
So very much kissing. Just mashing of man-face on man-face. Boners everywhere, right there out on the boulevards. Elsewhere, Nate feels a shahtoosh scarf knit itself about his throat, and a certain sudden yearning for home.
Blair: "Seriously this time, what the fuck."
Louis: "I saw the chance, I went for it. To ruin your life, I must be vigilant."
Blair: "Oh my God, how many times."
Louis: "As many times as it takes. But I noticed that you and Chuck were both at Sleep No More, so clearly I have the upper moral hand in my strange topsy-turvy view of reality."
Blair, unnecessarily and wrongly: "I only did that so I could prove to Chuck he hadn't changed, and in that case, you were actually right. PS, Beatrice sent out the blast about the paternity test, Louis."
Louis: "Well, okay. So that's one thing out of a million..."
You know what, Louis? Fuck you.
Blair: "You know what, Louis? Fuck you. You have let our relationship somehow turn you into a total fucker. I am not clear on how it happened, possibly it is uneven and careless writing that has made this seem so sudden and creepy, but in any case get the fuck out."
Louis: "But I was hypnotized into performing unspeakable..."