Gossip Girl
All The Pretty Sources

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Hung Up On Somebody That You Used

Anyway, deal with what you're dealing with. Judge on the merits, not the what you wish. I always say that but sometimes it's hard. So, Serena, riding the high of most cogent sentences ever said at one time, offers the Minions a halfhearted, bitchy apology for calling them wannabes, but even that is to be denied her: "We didn't hear your speech, we've been too busy reading. Sorry!" Serena's like, "That hurts in at least two ways." Then she sees what they were reading, and it hurts in several more.

Meanwhile, Dan is in the Waldorf elevator gettin' his Humphrey on: "Hi, okay, yeah, I'm, as you can tell by my casual attire, I'm crashing this party, but it's only because I needed to stop whining, start becoming a man of action, and a man of action wouldn't just do nothing, a man of action would, uh, would show up and finally confront the person he's been meaning to have a conversation with for a very long time now. I wouldn't expect you to understand what I'm saying. Who the hell are you people, anyway? Must be friends of the groom."

This one bitchy young Mineo queen with hella gayface who's managed to photobomb every single scene -- he was over Serena's shoulder during her speech, and is now somehow in the elevator to the apartment to listen to Dan's speech -- just gives an eloquent "ugh" on his way out. Extras!

Serena: "Nate, I told you not to publish that thing magically."
Nate: "I didn't! I am coming to the party!"
Serena: "Well, if you didn't, and I didn't, whom does that leave? Because I also told you not to tell Diana."
Nate: "I ... did tell her. I forgot not to do that part. I didn't figure it out."
Serena: "Well, just fix it. Fix the Internet somehow."

She yells at everybody at the party for no real reason, and meanwhile everybody's doing the whole "Why did you tell?" "I didn't tell" and all that. The anarchy of snakes finding out that they are snakes. It's pretty sedate.

Louis: "[Garble garble cluck click cluck.]"
Chuck: "I'm not here to ruin your wedding, that's what you're for. I'm here to save Serena from Dan. We're pretending this is about Serena still."
Louis: "Why don't you meet up with his drunk ass at the bar and I can tattle to Blair on you both. Acting like grownups is so rad."

SPECTATOR

Diana: "I called you here because I saw a side of your grandson today I hadn't fully seen before."
Granderbilt: "And here I was, pretty sure that you've seen every side of him at this point."
(Gross.)
Diana: "He's not a boy anymore, William."
Granderbilt: "You made sure of that, as per my creepster instructions."
Diana: "William, I am being serious. He is Good! I am Good! I am no longer at war with Gossip Girl, but with you!"
William: "That is so cute. Explain in more detail."
Diana: "Let me explain in more detail. I was planning to tell you that I've ended up caring more about this paper and your grandson than you ever will, but then someone went off to do this dumb thing about Gossip Girl..."
William: "And it wasn't you?"
Diana: "Not that Nate will believe me. I'd imagine he's pretty upset."
Nate, appearing: "I am very upset about some things!"

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Gossip Girl

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