Gossip Girl
All The Pretty Sources

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Hung Up On Somebody That You Used

SHOWER

Blair tries to go soak up the love and tell everybody thanks, but they are too busy calling her, and each other, bitches and other swears. She orders Penelope to explain why nobody is paying attention to her, and in order to -- I don't know what, it's a Serena Plan -- Serena yells that it's time to open the Tiffany boxes. Which will distract exactly one person. And that one person is Ivy, who of course gets the diamond ring, and of course it is huge and tacky and stupid-looking.

Ivy, for real: "I've never seen a ring like this before, never mind owned one. Which is why I should put it someplace safe."
Serena, patronizingly: "Ah, poor people."

Max: "I am back for no reason! You are Ivy Dickens! The real Charlie Rhodes is in Florida!"
Ivy: "Let's speak privately."

Bitches: Bitch yet more at Blair and each other about various dumb GG things that wouldn't even matter back in the day when the scandals were actually scandalous; the blonde one did some dumb thing, Kati or Iz whichever one is Asian did some dumb thing, Penelope made out with a hot dog but only like one time.

Blair: "Oh, Dan. Oh thank God, someone who isn't mad at me."
Dan: "Actually, I totally am. I forgot my plausible deniability about this being a Serena thing when it was a Blair thing the whole time. I've been there for you when no one else was, and I refuse to believe that it's about my book because I didn't write a bad word about you in the entire thing..."

Chuck walks up behind Dan to shut him up, so of course she just yells at both of them like the horrible fishwife she's become, and then Louis rides in to save the day and tell everybody to fuck off. Without her boys to yell at, Blair randomly swings around on Serena and starts screaming at her this impossibly stupid thing about how Serena probably released the GG files to sabotage her night, which even Serena knows is out of bounds.

S: "I created this night. For you."
B: "Louis was right, none of us here are really friends. We just pretend to be so we can get stuff to talk about behind each other's backs."
S: "Not that I owe you a goddamn thing for Danning out on me about this, but yeah. I saw the website. I told Nate not to publish it. Diana presumably did so anyway."
B: "That's all the people that saw it?"
S: "Well, Louis did when he was creeping over my shoulder, but I'm sure he wouldn't mess with my stuff..."
B: "Oh, Louis. You are even more fucked than usual."

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Gossip Girl

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