Nate: "It's really mysterious that Diana would screw me over like that. I feel like I'm missing something... Actually, you know what, fuck it. Later, Hurley. What's next?"
William: "The lesson is, don't ever care about people. Use them to make yourself look virile. Now, next order of business is, you are the Editor-in-Chief of this magazine or whatever it is. Looks like Diana's plan, which wasn't actually hers, will probably work and Gossip Girl is running scared."
ibid., verbatim: "Congratulations. You've earned it."
How? How. How. How. How?
S: "Max, why are you lurking in my home that you don't even know where I live?"
Max: "The doorman let me in."
S: "Then why the fuck do I have a fucking doorman? Anyway, I'm Serena, so I'm cool with it. Why don't you apologize for standing me up at that play you didn't stand me up at, at which I could easily have found you using my phone instead of buying Hurley's bullshit?"
Max: "I am very sorry for... That thing that was totally on you. Are you my girl?"
S: "I guess that I am, according to your Hill People customs. I guess you just have to say that, and then it happens. Despite us going on less than one single date, ever. Goodnight, 'my guy.'"
William: "Aw, don't take it so rough. All I did was ruin your life and career and relationship for no clear reason."
Diana: "I was so dazzled by the fact that a child didn't submit factoids to a child website that I have completely reevaluated my entire life and don't care about those things anymore. Such as my life or my career. Too bad about my relationship though."
William: "He's young. He'll get over it."
Diana: "I guess that's what's important. White men's feelings."
Wm. & Diana: (Have strange secrets that they share and that would have pissed Nate off and still have the ability to piss Nate off, but remain a strange mystery. Please, please, please let Hurley be Chuck's real mom. There have been so many of his mom. Hurley's the only one stagey and bizarre enough to be the truth. Or else she could be Bart Bass with a surgery. Or she could be the only person that has slept with both Bart and Jack. Or she could be Jack with a surgery, but that would be sad, because he finally became hot after years of Dexter, and we'd never see him again. Or she could be the person that caused Bart and Real Mom to split up, letting Jack swoop in and have been Chuck's real dad this whole time. Just something, something to hang a star on. Something like fake cancer and crazy therapists, or horse- and yacht-rustling with Carter Baizen in Santorini, or even Jesus Camp Georgina loses the Bible fund. Something.)