Diana: "Why did you just show up here in the middle of our Byzantine scheme?"
William: "Because you are being painted as the sexual aggressor in the relationship, which ruins my ever more grotesque plans."
Diana: "I am sorry, I don't see how that could possibly be an issue, you gross old man. If you wanted him to look like a player maybe you should have set him up with a lady that isn't old enough to be his ancestor."
William: "It's time for you to quit this magazine or whatever it is, and let Nate be EIC."
Diana: "...But that, I mean literally that makes no sense."
William: "You have three days to something or another, or else we let my dementia take the reins."
Chuck: "Humphrey, are you lost? What are you doing here?"
It is a little romance game they play, called Who's Vanessa. How Who's Vanessa works is that you show up at somebody's house uninvited, force entry if necessary, and then you are the Vanessa. You humiliate the person for his life choices, and then you do sex on each other.
(Nate used to call it Who's That Elderly Woman. The rules were essentially the same, except they would trade off who was the Elderly Woman. With Dan, Dan is always the Vanessa. Chuck would never admit it, but he's more comfortable with this arrangement.)
Dan: "I thought since the whole of Manhattan will be at that shower except us, we could finally take our love out upon the boulevards."
Chuck: "Meaning what, hit the IFC Center to catch a film no one's heard of?"
Dan: "No, that's when Blair is the Vanessa."
Chuck: "Shakespeare & Company to see who's not buying your book?"
Dan: "No, that's when Serena is the Vanessa. Or actual Vanessa is the Vanessa."
Dan: "Since you have done so much to redeem yourself, just like every season, I thought you could do like one thing to make me presentable."
Chuck: "Are you going to dress like a person? Comb that nasty hair? Eat a goddamn sandwich?"
Dan: "Those would be dealbreakers."
Chuck: "Then no. Just smoke my cigarette and hush."
Dan: "Fine. Just take it all away and make me forget the awful torture of missing this bridal shower. I will do whatever wildly offensive thing you can think of."
Dan: "I don't know how I can make it any clearer what I am saying."