The boyz come piling out of a limo to shoot some hoops at Roosevelt Park, which is adorable of them and I hope they get murdered. Nate is clearly not wearing a bulletproof vest under his sports gear, and it's working for him; Chuck looks like...it's a Billionaire Boys Club jersey, which does not explain the Robin Sparkles retro-print or the turquoise...fuchsia...I don't know...the gay-colored headband he's sporting on top. He looks like the most amazing person ever to audition for American Idol. What would he sing? That song about missing you like the deserts miss the rain, I think. Or "Milkshake." Yeah, "Milkshake." But right now he's singing "Unbreak My Heart" to Nate, because guess who's there? The Hobbit. The Hobbit's going to play basketball with them. All eighteen inches of him. He is dressed as a troubadour from Planet Forest, with this Byron and Shelley lace-up blouse that makes you think, "They still get International Male in Middle Earth?" Chuck throws down about how the Hobbit is a deadbeat and a hypocrite, but Nate just wants to play some b-ball, and whine, and Chuck tries to rape the Hobbit, but Nate's not having it, and then the Hobbit runs off to hatch some schemes or something. Chuck even tells him to "go jump in a volcano," because even Chuck knows that he looks like a Hobbit. "This is the Lost Weekend for juniors, not senior citizens! He's an older brother bringing everyone down." Nate cries into his cashmere emptiness for awhile but then it's game on.
Everybody's trying to desperately to get Blair to stop posing and start modeling, and the cameras are snapping and the lights are flashing, and she's beautiful, very beautiful, but very awkward, and the photog's like, "Okay, Blair, relax, chin down, hold it there, you ready? Okay, one more. This time, let's exhale. Jump around, loosen up. Now really loosen up on this one. Let's relax into it." Like a billion times and it's not happening. He bitches to Assistant Laurel and says awesome things: "She's so prim and stiff! Like a bookcase! It's unnatural." They agree that she's totally gorgeous -- and I like that the show lavishes that on Blair, because she deserves it, but also because that's not the problem and they really need to make that clear in case the signals get mixed because of her eating disorder, so if you're paying attention: the problem is not Blair's physical appearance, ever, but only her complete inability to drop her defenses for one single second -- and she gets more and more stressed out. "Bleh. Like a statue! This is retail, it's not editorial! She needs to let go, have fun, loosen up. How's the client going to like the dress if the model doesn't even like herself?" Ding. Serena goes cross-eyed with worry and rushes over to get the bookcase to loosen up.