Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1928 USERS: B-
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The Devil Wears Waldorf

"First of all, you look amazing!" Blair is well aware. Serena offers to give her a little tip, and Blair's like, "Here we fuckin' go." Serena sweetly bypasses that one and begs her to chill out. B notices Laurel and the photographer watching, and whispers, "Help me." She looks into Serena's eyes. "Help. Me." So now everybody's on the same page. S jumps around, all, "Act like a tiger! More tiger! More tiger! You're a savage!" Blair starts giggling and getting more into it, and the whole time Terry the photographer is snapping away at both of them. "Let's do a prettier one this time, okay? You're Venus on the Half Shell, right? So just look up..." It's so awesome, this part. Serena is totally, utterly focused on Blair, and it's like you can see her trying to vibe all this confidence and oblivion into her, and it's not happening, because they are at the very center of the thing that makes them opposites and they can't get across the bridge: Serena is beautiful because she doesn't care about anybody but Blair, and Blair is beautiful because she is so completely self-conscious that Blair is the last thing on her list. (Guess which one wins?)

So Serena's getting more and more into it, trying to muscle Blair into unselfconsciousness, all, "Let's do something crazy like Britney with the umbrella! Rawr! At the car! Posh Spice in America. Ready? Go! Hand on the hip! Strike it and pop! Give me more, give me more!" She calls her a sexy beast. Blair finally starts fully getting into it, giggling and laughing, and I kind of teared up, I'll be honest: "Oh, it looks so good! You're doing so good! You got it! Look how good you are!" I mean, that's love. Blair deserves Serena 24/7 just telling her she's wonderful, and Serena wants to be there 24/7, telling Blair she's wonderful. Like if she says it enough times, she'll fix her. And if you think about that, then the whole lost year thing is like ten times worse, because that means for a whole year, Blair didn't know she was wonderful, and she got less and less wonderful. But now Serena's back, and she's saying, "You're doing so good! You got it! Look how good you are!" So of course Dan calls.

Gossip Girl

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