Photo Terry and Asst. Laurel show up at the Waldorfs' even later that night, causing Eleanor to complain at them while her daughter's asleep. Laurel pulls out the shots from the fashion shoot and Terry says Blair is not what they really want to be, saying she is: "unapproachable," "controlled," "perfect." Not untrue. Eleanor suggests instead that she is "poised" and "regal," also not untrue, and Terry says more awesome stuff: "Your girl is rigid like a twig...she's afraid to let you in, so your works of art and she...fail to achieve..." Eleanor nods. "Symbiosis." Terry shows her the inevitable shots of Serena: "Your daughter is beautiful, yes. But this girl...this girl has It. She is warm like sunshine. She has fun. She will make the clients think if they buy these clothes, then they will have fun, too." Laurel, knowing her ass is now completely covered, is like, "Oh, but it's your decision, Eleanor." I love Laurel. I hope she makes some kind of power move, that would be so kick-ass. Eleanor smiles down lovingly at both girls and chews on her dilemma.
GG points out, pointlessly, the "rules for a model the day of a photo shoot," noting how similar they are to "those of a patient, pre-surgery." She then tries to make this analogy work, and fails miserably. "No food or drink twelve hours prior, wear comfortable clothing, and make sure your affairs are in order -- you never know what could go wrong in a flash." S leaves an excited voicemail on sleeping B's phone, and later B wakes up and runs downstairs, terrified she's overslept or something. Eleanor's like, "No, but we're going a different way." B's face is already about to fall, but she's still hopeful: "With the theme?" No, honey. With the model. Eleanor starts trying to explain and apologize, and B immediately shuts down completely with that scary smile that says somebody's getting the horns: "I'm glad I don't have to go. I hate shoots. They're so boring. You should have Alessandra Ambrosio, not an amateur." Aww. Eleanor promises a lovely dinner afterwards, which I assume B would not be allowed to eat anyway, and takes off. B calls Serena with the bad -- for her -- news, and offers to meet up at the shoot anyway just to make fun of "the skinny bitch" that replaced her. Which is I think another script v. director issue that should have been changed, because while B the character creation is concerned with her weight, on paper, neither of the actual live girls on this show are all that horribly skinny, compared to lots of girls on TV, and lines like this -- where B is calling S a skinny bitch without knowing it -- are jarring, because you're like, "But Serena's a hoss, though." Which she isn't really, but that's where you go with it.
Lily! At Rufus's gallery! Bitching at him for no reason! All mad that he sold his ex-wife's painting to an art buyer for an anonymous client! Reason for outburst: Allison despises Lily and does not want her art in Lily's renovated house, or so she said twenty years ago, wearing Doc Martens and a slip dress! Why can these two old fuckers not tell time? Twenty years ago was 1987. Docs and lunchbox purse was ten years ago. 1997. I don't care if you were living in San Francisco or some other future place like that twenty years ago, the only people wearing Docs in 1987 were militant lesbian cartoonists, and meanwhile, your children are 17! Years! Of age! How can you simultaneously be fucking Trent Reznor, be hauling around a seven-year-old daughter, get married twelve times, sell out and become a UES trophy wife, and also be having lunchbox purse fights at CBGB's? Is Lily van der Woodsen a TIME TRAVELER? Are there many copies?