Gossip Girl
Beauty & The Feast

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Beatrix Slaughter

Father Cavalia: "Did you enjoy a religious upbringing, Miss Waldorf?"
Sounds Like: "Would you like to see me take off this collar, real slow?"

Blair: "My family's of mixed faith, but I've always appreciated a confessional."
This is True. Actually, Blair's relationship with God is a constant. Huh.

Beatrice: "I'm just literally gonna start shoving food in your mouth at this point. I deserve to have my ears boxed and my box punched."

Virgin Mary: "I'll save you, Blair!"
Dan Arrives. At this royal function. Wearing plaid and jorts and Crocs and a leather arm cuff like Daddy used to wear. Just walks right on the fuck in. Doesn't get shot, doesn't get tackled. Monegasque security is heavily unionized.

Louis: "Stop doing literally everything that you're doing! I wish I had gotten a turtle instead of a sister. You're the worst."
Beatrice: "I am, it's true. I am just the fucking worst."

Blair: "Am I mad at you right now? I don't remember. Come with me to the vomitorium."
Dan: "I started thinking that Chuck was doing dangerous things to get your attention, and I didn't want that to happen, so instead of waiting for you to see it on Gossip Girl, I decided to come here and tell it to your face. So then that way you wouldn't know he was doing dangerous things, and wouldn't fall for his trap. Which is now the role that I have taken on. I'm the one telling you about the thing I didn't want you to find out about."

VESTIBULAR FELLATRIX

Nate: "We meet again, Cougar! I told my mommy that she should do your interview, but first you have to fuck me in a vestibule."
Cougar: "Anything for journalism."

RELUCTANT SIDEKICKS

Ivy: "Serena! Why are you constantly lurking? Are you going to cut my hair in my sleep? I feel like that's coming."
Serena: "Okay, but you can just stop. I know what really happened."
Serena Has no clue what really happened.

PINOCCHIOS & CANDLEWICKS

Blair Barfing.
Dan: "Are you throwing up because you fucked Chuck at a Bar Mitzvah?"
Blair: "No, but yes."
Dan: "I can't help thinking this is about me."
Blair: "It's barely about Chuck at this point."
Beatrice: "Are you barfing in here? I can't wait to tattle to my brother. About the barfing."

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