THE AGENDA OF THE EDITRIX
Nate: "I told mommy it was her chance to tell her side of the story and move on with her life. And that it made her seem classier than Ruth Madoff."
Cougar: "Clever. That's all it took?"
Nate: "Well, and that you are a double agent for the squirrels. And that she gets to decide whether I do my internship with Goldman or Schumer."
Cougar: "Why do either? Why not come with me to my fantasyland Internet IPO? I mean, we just met, and those are real people, and I'm clearly a grifter of some kind. What part of this would give you pause?"
Nate: "Sometimes the difference between me and Serena is like, imperceptible. Yes, I am in."
Cougar: "Someone with your persuasive skills could be great at sales, or marketing."
I love it. "Based on the fact that you compared your drunk bitch mother to Ruth Madoff, I pronounce you qualified." For what? "For jobs." Like what jobs? "Like whatever."
Cougar: "Once you know how to control information, you can do anything with it. Politics, banking, whatever."
See? Literally she said "whatever."
"You could walk into a publisher's office with somebody else's book, drunk, wearing dreadlocks with bones in them, and say that the publisher has to publish this book but they can't ever know who wrote it, and that they have to send checks to Spain or something, and that they might as well publish the excerpted stories in various high-profile magazines or whatever."
"You could sit on a bench with David O. Russell and somehow ruin a D-boy's life just by sitting there. You could deliver coke to actors and get entire productions shut down and then have a conversation with a random movie producer whose job seems to consist almost entirely of supervising what color the walls are of various sets, and that will get you a job. Doing what? First one in the morning, last one to leave. Just doing whatever."
Nate, dirty: "While that sounds great, I would have to get my family to approve me pulling out of this other thing."
Nate's Family: "We do not care. We pretend we're not related to you. How many times and how many ways must we make that clear?"
Cougar: "Well, just remind them what George did for JFK, Jr."
Nate: "I was literally in utero when that happened. I honestly don't know who that is, or what the reference is to."