Gossip Girl
Beauty & The Feast

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Beatrix Slaughter

SARTORIAL HERETRIX

Bra check: Same.

Beatrice: "[Something.]"
Blair: "I want to wear Woo for my welcome parade -- short but regal -- and Alaïa would put Charlene and her swimmer's body to shame at Albert's ball..."
Beatrice: "[In the negative.]"
Blair: "Because once again Monaco has all these bullshit 'traditions' and 'history' that somehow make me feel oppressed despite those being keynotes to my character? Great. What is it, do I have to wear a Quinceañera dress made of carnations?"
Beatrice: "[In essence, I guess.]"
Blair: "So you get Balmain, and I get to be Barbara Bush. How is this possible?"
Beatrice: "[Foreshadowing the fact that she's jealous of Louis's position in the line of succession or something? Do like HRH Caroline in real life? So she'd be the heiress presumptive if Louis vanished or, I guess, just didn't feel like it.]"
Blair: "That reminds me of the time Louis threatened to quit for me, that one time that that happened, and you gave this interview where you pretty much bit through your lip with lust for power. How curious that you're now acting as though it's a luxury not to be the heir... Hold up, I have to barf."

LITTLE MISS MXYZPTLKS

Ivy: "I'm not sure there's enough closet space."
Serena: "Are you speaking literally? Because there are closets galore."
Ivy: "Beach traffic gets me down."
Serena: "Are you speaking literally? Because where in LA is Carmeggedon not an issue?"
Ivy: "Look, bitch..."
Real Estate Agent: "Better give me a down payment on this apartment you don't want!"
Ivy: "No thanks, I..."
Serena: "Here's my trust fund checkbook. Oh wait, I don't have it because why would I have it. Hey Peepers, how about you put this down payment on this apartment you clearly have no interest in?"
Ivy: "I do not think I can cover that amount with my trust fund checkbook, which I have on me for no reason."
Serena: "Please, as if money is something that ever runs out! Are you speaking literally? Or... Wait, hold up. Are you saying to me loud and clear over and over that you don't want to live with me? Using every possible excuse to get out of it in a fairly transparent way?"
Ivy: "Please don't make that sad face. I'll write this lady a bad check on somebody else's account if you'll stop being sad."
Serena: "Being me. It is really something."

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Gossip Girl

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