Nate chases Juliet around trying to apologize for the drama and tells her his life is drama-free and is well on the way to falling in love with her or something when we learn that his suite at the Empire is having some kind of whore meltdown emergency and the girls are, as they say, going wild.

Serena chases Blair out into the France and Blair yells at her about dividing up the entire city of Paris: "You can have the Left Bank, okay, but I want the Right. Every cleavage-baring blouson and cute bartender is yours. But I want a dress from Dior, and I want a date with a royal, and I want to go to school, and take classes, and have friends, without living in your shadow for the next three years!"

Serena finally figures out that Blair must have found out about Columbia, due to her yelling specifically about Columbia, but instead of tapping herself in the head and being like, "Every time you withhold information about somebody's main issue, you end up getting shoved around later, so next time you should sack up and tell the information," that is not how her thought process goes, so instead she's just like, "What a situation in which we two have once again found ourselves. Alas, it was unavoidable as far as I can see. Hug?"

While Georgina brandishes the baby at everybody like a strange voodoo fetish that nobody wants to touch, Lily points out that this is major crummy drama. Georgina admits her "flair for the dramatic," and complains that Dan was wussing out and she was getting bored but at least now everybody's talking, which is the Georgina thing. Her reason for existing. Lily mutters that she's enjoying it, and Georgina's pretty great: "I know you think I'm crazy, that I'm a schemer and a liar and pathologically selfish, and that's true."

Or it was, she lies, until Milo was born. Then I guess it went away, only to come back for the five seconds it takes to get from DUMBO to PRADA, and now has gone away again? I love that. "I'm totally crazy! Except right this second." Georgina then proves how bonkers she is by saying this, to Mrs. Lily van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey: "I understand if you hate me. Please don't hate my son. He deserves to have a good family. And no one has more love than you or Rufus."