By the end everybody's staring at her, and luckily Eleanor calls right then, so to be fair they are at a luncheon and it's dinnertime in Paris. Why is Eleanor calling? Just to be the first to tell her about Columbia. That's the entire conversation: "So what if Serena always gets the prince and I get the pauper? Being jealous of her is totally Constance, and I've moved on," says Blair, and immediately Eleanor screams, "SHE GOT INTO COLUMBIA!" and hangs up and runs off into the night with a crossbow and a smirk.

Juliet is just pleased as punch to be working the old FNO planning luncheon, talking to various fashion people I don't care about and won't matter in a year anyway, and Nate shows up to look over Chuck's paperwork -- because of his gift for forensic accounting -- so they get to be super cute together some more.

In Paris, Serena has made friends with Lou Doillon, a fashion person I care very much about, but that just adds to Blair's total rage boner.

Awesomely, Georgina shows up at the luncheon at this moment, just strides right on up in their business and produces the heir in front of everybody. I wish she could somehow also interrupt the Parisian dinner, which, it would stretch her powers of evil but I think she could do it. Nate tries to get her away from the fashion people and she doesn't care, just laughs him off, and he confuses everybody more when he asks if Dan knows she's there. Dan calls right then and he's like, "I thought you went on a walk!" and she's like, "Yeah motherfucker, we walked to Manhattan!" and he finally hears the crazy shoe drop.

She hands the phone to Rufus so that Dan can apologize and stutter-babble while she takes the demon baby out of the stroller and once again holds it high in the air, and Dan rushing as fast as he can across the bridge, and Rufus staring, and Eleanor loving it, and Lily wanting the baby in her arms right away, and all of the fashion people just totally scandalized because they've never seen a baby before. Lily throws everybody out of the house and Eleanor spits quietly, "What's going on why does Georgina Sparks have a baby?" and takes all the fashion lunchers to her house, where this shit should have happened in the first place.

Georgina stares crazily at Dan as he hustles Rufus back into a PRADA bedroom to discuss the fatherhooding, and people keep being like, "How could this happen?" Have you met Georgina Sparks? "This must be a ridiculous Georgina Sparks scheme!" Which, joking about the show during the show is a button you can push and it feels really good but it's like the rat pressing the button to get more coke: At some point, you're going to have a dead rat and then no amount of Georgina Sparks jokes are going to be fun. You know what's shitty to contemplate? "Georgina Sparks" being the new "waffles."