Blair dumped Chuck after he literally turned her ass out, so he gave her an inappropriate ultimatum which she failed, so he finally decided to finish raping Jenny and then proposed marriage to Blair about ten minutes later. It was a hot mess. Then they both ran off to Europe, and Chuck was shot dead by street toughs.
Serena was supposed to decide between Nate and Dan, but nobody actually cared, including and especially the three of them, and the second she went to Paris they all got distracted anyway.
Nate chose whores.
Vanessa and Dan decided to "throw down," but then Georgina showed up mysterious and pregnant. Then Vanessa took her shit to Haiti, ran for President and started beef with Pras. Or Nas. Whichever. She started beef with Haiti, all of it. And the goblin-looking Moldy Peaches, because she thought they were the Dirty Projectors, because even her best effort still only counts as barely even trying.
So there's two episodes about Paris and this is the first one. Serena and Blair have been living it up on the Left and Right Banks. Serena is, of course, taking up portraiture as her latest imaginary talent, and mostly what she likes to draw is naked French fellas from the service industry, and when she's not doing that she is fucking them, because Serena is awesome. Blair is not doing anything worth mentioning, because she is still very sad about Chuck and also just sort of sad, like a sad person, these days.
Serena isn't buying Blair's Fat Best Friend routine, because that never works and nobody ever buys it, because it's only a plea for attention from the bottom of your insecurity, which are two things that are repellent. In fact, all kinds of guys have been hitting on B. She'd simply rather wait around for somebody that doesn't exist to come along and be doing her same pretentious French activities like reading Colette and gazing at clichéd paintings and endlessly shopping.
I'm so glad they could travel six time zones away to do the exact same shit as usual with even less accountability. Maybe in France Blair can actually accomplish her life goal of somehow making a relationship with a gay man work. But probably she's looking at Gossip Girl, in contravention of the agreement with Serena that happened last spring. She guiltily reads only the least anti-B sentiment to Serena, who pretends like she doesn't totally want to hear about herself on GG: "Oh la la! Paris is burning, and Serena and Blair lit the match!" And as for Chuck? MIA since he was murdered to death in Prague, surrounded by prostitutes and rough trade just like he always dreamed. Only his Nathaniel could have made the scene complete.