Gossip Girl
Belles De Jour

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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The Reeling

While Georgina brandishes the baby at everybody like a strange voodoo fetish that nobody wants to touch, Lily points out that this is major crummy drama. Georgina admits her "flair for the dramatic," and complains that Dan was wussing out and she was getting bored but at least now everybody's talking, which is the Georgina thing. Her reason for existing. Lily mutters that she's enjoying it, and Georgina's pretty great: "I know you think I'm crazy, that I'm a schemer and a liar and pathologically selfish, and that's true."

Or it was, she lies, until Milo was born. Then I guess it went away, only to come back for the five seconds it takes to get from DUMBO to PRADA, and now has gone away again? I love that. "I'm totally crazy! Except right this second." Georgina then proves how bonkers she is by saying this, to Mrs. Lily van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey: "I understand if you hate me. Please don't hate my son. He deserves to have a good family. And no one has more love than you or Rufus."

Yeah, you're really giving the kid a gift that'll keep on giving. How great it will be for him when Grandma Lily and Grandpa Rufus get a fifth divorce next week. How marvelous when Lily drives Milo to suicide the first time. How much love it will take to get him on the pole, stealing horses, or fucking married Congressmen. "Nobody has more love than you and Rufus, unless your teenager wants to be a fashion designer, in which case love means tossing her ass out on the street." "Nobody has more love than you and Rufus, unless your child has been shot to death in Prague."

Georgina then produces a mysterious Secret Paternity Test that Dan didn't know about, which clearly states that Dan is the father of the child. Since he was willing to believe it just because he's an idiot, this only firms his belief, but Rufus isn't so sure. I love how Big Strong Rufus can't even look a grownup in the eye, but with kids he's like constantly throwing down the gauntlet.

"Jenny, I will punch you in the neck for having dreams. Charles, I hope you die of syphilis in Prague, and thanks for saving my wife from getting raped that time at the opera when all I could do was gasp and stare. Georgina, I would prefer your child die an orphan than give you the time of day."

Although it's not as awesome as Lily's nonchalance about the whole Chuck situation and Rufus's endless whining. "Frankly, she was a lot better behaved at that point than when she was a drug-dealer. Her manners were really unacceptable when she was running drugs. What do you want me to say? Look, I tried. So my kid had sex with her? Somebody was going to. She was on a mission. Eric barely escaped. It's over now. I'm just glad she's in Hudson, and I no longer have to deal with her constantly moving that goddamn sewing machine in and out of various rooms."

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Gossip Girl

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