Blair comes back all "Is it any consolation that I totally imploded and ruined my date?" and Serena's like, "Fuck you. I'm going to read this copy of Be on the plane because that's how long it will take, one magazine," and Blair says she doesn't care about dating princes, or any boys, that she only cares about Serena and being with Serena and smelling her hair.
"I've been acting like I'm okay, but I'm not. They say it's a broken heart, but... I hurt in my whole body. I mean, what if I stay like this forever? What if I never get over Chuck?" Serena says she will but there's no supporting evidence and the person won't believe you anyway. "I'm scared if you come to Columbia that I'll do something to destroy us," Blair says, which is a valid concern, and Serena points out her own ability to overlook almost anything, because she is shallow. To Blair's fear that Columbia might be a disaster, and they'll lose each other for good, Serena offers the idea that Columbia might be amazing, and they'll become closer than they've ever been. Let's just sit with that idea for awhile.
Blair texts GG about the news, and tells S to let Dan and Nate know, because she's like obsessed with the idea that Dan and Nate care about them. "This just in, from Miss B herself: Serena van der Woodsen is heading to Columbia. S and B, together again? We think we've died and gone to heaven. Or at least the Upper West Side..."
Over the poignant "I Can't Hear You," by the Dead Weather, things occur. Somebody's hands find dead Chuck's wallet, while Nate calls Juliet, who is in turn reattaching tags to today's clothes in a very Lily Bart/Jenny Humphrey fashion. He admits to being quite hurt, as a man and lover, and invites Juliet to coffee even though it's "late," now that S is heading back to town. In fact, Nate's whole business with the naughty girls was intended to impress Serena in some fashion. So Juliet takes the tags off again, checks out her intensely spooky corkboard full of pictures of Serena and yarn connecting all the kids to each other and GG open on her desk, and heads out to be crazy, while "France" calls Lily to tell her that they found Chuck's dead body in Paris.
But instead what really happened in Prague was that girl treated his wounds herself because she didn't know about doctors, and while she was doing that he was roiling around remembering that one scarf he used to own and his intense rape history and all the times Dan punched him and how Blair dumped him and how he kind of deserved it, and when he finally woke up, he got rid of his signet ring and told the girl his name was Henry Prince, as in the former Prince Hal, because of her copy of Henry V.