Serena and the rest of them sit at some expensive French-fry parlor talking about how no wonder Lily was always up Serena's ass about her terrible behavior, because it turns out she was just mad at Serena for turning into her. And Dan is weirded out by the fact that Rufus has been giving him this great Serena advice (which he never follows correctly), when it turns out Rufus is also pretending that Serena is her mother. Blair pipes up with her bizarre opinion: "When you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads." Everybody at the table, their hair stands on end. Lily comes walking up and orders a nonstop French-fry buffet, and the Humphreys and Waldorf catch a cab so that the van der Woodsens can deal with their shit. Blair kisses Serena sweetly, whispering that the sandwich Serena made her eat was delicious, and she's calling Dr. Sherman in the morning. Serena smiles so sweetly up at her you could die. After the extraneous children are gone, Lily takes a napkin and starts wiping down her chair, making this hilarious crazy grossed-out face when Serena asks if that's necessary. It's awesome, like Serena just asked her to eat a bug. Serena points out that, as a groupie, Lily must have only lately come to value hygiene. Lily instantly asks herself leave to level with the kids, and instantly gives it: "Please. Try spending nine hours with Jane's Addiction on the Ohio Turnpike. Then we'll talk about dirty." God. Sorry, Pamie, but just listening to Perry Ferrell's yowly little voice makes me want to take a shower. Serena laughs, impressed and pleased, and Lily sits down.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: A+ | 1004 USERS: B-
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