"Poor Little Orphan Jenny looks like she needs a Daddy Warbucks but Daddy Warbucks don't grow on trees at least not on a tree that grows in Brooklyn."

GOSSIP GIRL. What the FUCK. Every way you punctuate that it just gets more and more fucked up! This has to stop. You need to start talky-talky in English again. You are a blogger writing about the boring behavior of stupid teenagers, for other stupid boring teenagers! Show some respect for yourself and your calling!

Jenny apparently has run away for the eighth time and this time has made it as far as... Williamsburg, where she slept on the couch at the Bedford Avenue Gallery. I bet Vanessa has a special window that she leaves unlocked so she can come and go as she pleases without using doors or locks because they're so conventional. Anyway, Little J wakes up and calls Scott Smith down to his office on a Sunday, and she's sooo supertalented that he's like, "Nothing would make me and my family happier, I'll totally see you in about two hours after the intense commute that I take each weekend to spend a few precious moments with my family."

Bart comes into Chuck's bedroom and Chuck is kind of snarly and sad, and Bart stares at objects for awhile before busting loose. "I want to apologize, son. I never blamed you for your mother's death. I read that short story that Dan Humphrey wrote about you and your mother. I had no idea you felt that way. It's my fault. I know I've had trouble being close to you." Chuck looks ... just so small, and narrow, and young. It's like all the Chuck drained out of him and he's just a little boy. "But it's not for the reasons you think. It's just hard because... Every time I look at you, I see her." They consider her picture on the dresser, in its contrasting-stitch leather frame from Target, and Chuck's like, "Oh, because you miss her and it makes you love me so much that it might kill you. That is not at all what I thought was up."

"I've made some terrible mistakes in my life, but I don't want to make another. I wanna know my son." Chuck starts coming apart. "So. Any interest in going to that hockey game?" Chuck's face hasn't ever had a reason to do Happy, so he just looks like he's having Scheißbedauern and like he's about to cry for an hour. He is.