Um, what? Dan's life is going to somehow suffer because of a rumor in high school that he boned a hot young teacher? What does Rufus think Dan's future holds? The only job I can think of where that would be weird is like, old folk's home orderly. Or if he became a teacher, it might be weird for you to look at his permanent record and see that he crossed that line, but Rufus assuming this whole rape stigma on Dan's behalf is beyond offensive. B comes running in, and Rachel looks like she's been stabbed, and then B shows them the picture of Dan almost hugging Rachel, and obnoxiously goes, "I believe it's called exculpatory evidence? I love Damages." Good show, and I believe that she likes it, but whatever. Outside, Serena's like, "Fuck you! Almost hugging!" and Dan says, "Nothing happened," and S says, "Dammit. Like the one fuckin' time I actually show some backbone, and I was wrong. Guess I learned my lesson."

The doors open, and Lily comforts Rufus for a second before ... wandering away out of the scene, and Rufus yells at Dan about how they will talk later, and then Rachel comes out crying and fired, and then B comes out beaming: "I'm back in! I saved myself! And Gossip Girl!" Dan yells, "You used this photo of Rachel and me to back up a rumor that is nothing more than a vengeful lie!" And Blair goes: "So?" Serena gives her the ixnay, but B's on a high: "You say 'lie,' I say 'eerily prophetic.'" Harold throws a hissy about that, and stomps off, and B looks stricken, and then Dan grills S about why on Earth -- after the million not-so-subtle nonverbal and explicitly stated clues to how fucking over they are about to be -- she would think that anything was going on. S doesn't really have an answer, because that's how intuition works, and Dan's like, "What makes you so disgusting?" She explains that she is just looking for reasons to dump his lame ass at this point, literally, and then they break up for the one hundred and eleven thousandth time.