Harold floats the idea that there is something very, very fucked up about Blair -- as though this is a recent development -- and B's like, "What? But I won. I'm back at Constance and I got into Yale. Everything's perfect again!" Harold's like, "I saw a different side of you last night, and I'm disappointed." WORD. This episode, we saw the side of Blair that is stupid, makes up stupid plans, and can't do a goddamn thing to help her fate. And yes, I am disappointed. But where does Harold get off thinking B has suddenly turned evil? She's always been evil. No wonder she's so obsessed with him, if he honestly doesn't know this most basic shit about her.

"Yale was on the line. I have to go there, like you. It's our plan!" Sad, Harold explains that it's not the college you go to, but the kind of person you are. Um, you mean awesome? She's turning out TOO AWESOME for you? Blair asks if she can take them to the airport, with a Dorota picnic and all, and he's like, "No, I'm too disappointed in you for that. You better go throw up everything you've ever eaten in an orgy of self-hatred. Well, I'm off!"

Chuck goes through that vault wearing another weirdly piped/oddly alluring barbershop tenor jacket, and he finds a stack of those invite cards about a yard thick that he just never noticed before. His phone rings, and it's Alan Philips, the dad of the family in Greenwich, looking for his nanny. Because she has been vanished! Because she told secrets while holding a candle! Turn on CNN! Go to Washington! Stop looking! If we can forget what Blair did on New Years', we can forget Elle, right?

Dan -- fresh off Rachel getting fired for seeing him outside of school -- heads over to Rachel's apartment for some more boundary-transgressing idiocy. I wish he'd run into Serena in the hallway and this all could have been avoided. "What are you doing here?" I sort of love Rachel more than I ever even thought about loving you. "Shit, me too." Let's go buy her some cookies. "Yeah! Cookies!" He gets about one second into the apology, and Rachel Carr grabs him by his teenage lapels and crushes him to her face and then drags him backwards into her unrealistically gigantic apartment to act like the giant pedo she has always secretly been.