Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
One Week Of Danger

Vanessa follows Chuck out into Brooklyn, in his blue plaid pants, and admits he's won Horace over. "He trusts me," Chuck says, staring into space. He's actually giving Ryan Phillipe a run for his money here, which is amazing in its own right, if sort of apple/orangey to point out. "You're really serious, aren't you? You're gonna save this place," she breathes. She can see it on his face. "Yeah," he says, no less surprised. "I guess I am." Vanessa admits it would have taken a miracle, but she never thought that miracle would be Chuck Bass. He shoots those eye lasers at her: a miracle? Yes. We are as surprised as they are, but it fits the story and the unfolding Chuckness of Chuck where nobody on earth is a cartoon, which sums up Josh Schwartz's entire mission in life.

"I was wrong about you, and I'm sorry." I really do like this thing about Vanessa and I am glad they know well enough to do it well and do it often: the part where she's able, unlike some people, to turn on a dime and admit she is capable of changing her mind. I mean, she prefers to be cynical and right and disappointed because it feels like winning, but whenever she just goes, "My bad, you're not evil," it makes me like her a whole lot. He doesn't know what to say, but admits it means a lot before looking away into space, trying to keep his Chuckness together. And just before he admits the game, just before he pulls the Sebastian Valmont move to the truth level that the story demands, he gets a text.

"En route to J Sisters. How's it going?" (Don't ask why I know this because I don't know and I'm kind of scared to remember, but J Sisters is basically where the Brazilian wax was invented, for all intents and purposes. I mean, besides Brazil. So you know what's implied.) Chuck's voice turns 180 degrees into horny freaky scary evil Chuck voice, which I never even noticed. (How great was The Dark Knight, both unironically and because all three of them had the scary voice and when they would talk it was constant code-switching between normal voice and scary growly voice? God, that movie is perfect.) "At the conclusion of a deal, I like to celebrate. My parents are having a housewarming tonight. I'd like you to come." Having no idea that Chuck literally just flipped his script all the way over like he's on the table at J Sisters, Vanessa's like, "Okay?" She realizes he just got weird, but decides she's in anyway, and why? Say it with me!

Lily introduces Richard Phillips -- painter of that amazing Technicolor dream on the stairwell, with the chick's face -- to angelic beauty Ariel Foxman and Honor Brodie of In Style, and Bart's standing around watching her work (never forget she's an artist, too, which I did when I forgot to mention that the Mapplethorpe thing carries a photographer-to-photographer marker that makes her, past and present, even more amazing than just some naked lady) when Serena comes in. She is wearing the suit, yes, but apparently without a shirt inside it. Needless to say, she looks like poetry in motion. Bart's like, "I'll field this one," which is dumb of him but makes this necessary part happen. " Serena? The suit looks lovely on you. And I'm glad you changed your mind and decided to join us. Can I introduce you to some people?"

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Gossip Girl




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