And since that's the entire point of the scene, Bart shows up, and he and Dan greet each other in a very nice, manly fashion, and she's like, "Blerg, they chipped me when I was sleeping," which as usual is one of those great Serena lines where you know she thinks weirdo shit like that all the time and just doesn't say it out loud, like how she does that amazing Tyra Banks impression and nobody knows it, or that fucked-up time with Nate where she randomly turned into Tallulah Bankhead for two seconds before they left for the Hamptons. "I'd like to take you home, Serena," he says, continuing to be perfect, and she nods, promising to try respecting and understanding the Blair inside Lily and Dan himself -- and oh, she breaks his heart now: "...I'm really glad you're Nate's friend. He really needs someone like you right now." That is amazing. Even Dan is like whoa. Serena wonders what else to say, nods on it, and gets in the car with Bart: still more apologizing to do.
Bart and S come home, his jacket tossed over his shoulder, to Eric and Lily digging into an elaborate cake. Serena asks where everybody went, and Lily laughs that the party wasn't really the same when she left. "Actually, I think it might've even stopped while you were still here." Serena sits down, looking into her mother's eyes, but Lily apologizes first. "No, I'm the one who said things they shouldn't have." Lily clarifies that it's actually the entire span of Serena's life she's apologizing for. "Well, it wasn't all bad. There was a brief period between CKlauses..." and Eric reminds them of Sarkozy, and the trips to Eurodisney, and even Lily is like, "When it's bullshit, it's bullshit, and that was bullshit."
"I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of a national magazine," Serena says, and apologizes to Bart for her behavior. He forgives her, and Lily smiles at them all. "Our family is our family. That's just who we are. And I shouldn't care who knows about it, and I don't." Man, the magic Eric van der Woodsen -- and, weirdly, Dan -- can accomplish under the right circumstances. "Just like the seasons, people have the ability to change," GG says, watching them eat their cake and smile lovingly at each other. "It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's almost always right."
Then something totally terrifying happens. I can't imagine it's this creepy by accident, so it adds a very funny, kind of last-minute Laclos twist. Lily makes a thinky face and asks Bart if he's killed the story yet, and Bart's like, "I already put out the hit," and then they all laugh in this totally maniacal manner, like the end of a David Lynch movie where you find out the birds on the windowsill are evil robots or whatever. It's amazing.