Rufus: "Just in case you're not up on the law -- being that you are supposedly a doctor -- I thought we could talk to an actual lawyer. About this legal case."
Lily: "God, you guys! Stop fighting over me!"
Dan: "We'll be happy to clean up this huge waffle mess if you guys want to GTFO."
Dan: Kicks her under the table.
Blair: "Oh, right. We're going to have sex. Especially now that you physically abused me, which is what I am into. Attention parents: GTFO. Time is of the essence when dealing with charlatans. Such as Dr. William van der Woodsen Esquire over here."
Ivy: "Can you believe your boyfriend printed this thing Lily and Rufus said?"
Lola: "You mean, in his newspaper? Or on his website? I'm not really sure how that all works."
Ivy: "They said my dad's fatal OD sparked a lifetime of criminal behavior!"
Lola: "Oh, is that why you are constantly doing criminal behaviors?"
Ivy: "I'm not a criminal! You know me, we were in school plays together. Remember? Before I stole your identity? And then your aunt's house?"
Lola: "I get that you have good intentions at any given point, but you do seem to do a lot of criminal activities."
Ivy: "Look, just get on board with me on this: We hate your family and we hate your boyfriend!"
Lola: "Girl, you need to stop calling me. You sound nuts."
Ivy: "That's just my voice!"
Nate: "Hey, was that Ivy? You should totally do an interview about her, for my upstanding journalism."
Lola: "What nobody seems to understand about Ivy Dickens is that she is crazy and I don't want to deal with her."
Serena: "You are already dealing with her! She is all up in your storyline!"
Lola: "What nobody seems to understand about Serena van der Woodsen is that she is crazy and I don't want to deal with her."
Serena: "You are already dealing with me! I am all up in your storyline! I think of you as a sister!"
Lola: "Really? Because I think of you as a stalker. It was creepy watching you obsess on Ivy, and it is creepy watching you do it to me."