Nate: "I think she has a tracking device on you or something. I gave up trying to get you to like her a while back and she still seems to know exactly where you are at all times."
Lola: "I mean, I am prepared to be part of the Rhodes Women thing. I just find it hard to negotiate, especially with Ivy stirring all this shit up all the time."
Nate: "Well, maybe William van der Woodsen can help you figure out how to deal with those ladies. Didn't you say you were going to talk to him, like a month ago?"
Lola: "There's this weird vibe I can't place. Anyway, good luck on your investor meeting."
Nate: "Yes. We are in financial straits once again. Thanks for expositing that."
Wm vdW: "Look, I'm already wearing this horrible scarf. When are you going to stop torturing me?"
Carol: "When you give me money or something!"
Wm vdW: "I don't have enough money to give you some of my money."
Carol: "And yet. I am still going to blackmail you about how Serena and Eric have a sister with Vanessa's personality. Make that will say something else, where I get money!"
Wm vdW: "It's a will! And how come I'm the only bad guy here? You hired an impersonator to impersonate our daughter, who has now ruined all of our lives."
Carol: "That should just demonstrate how much of a lunatic plot device I'm willing to be."
Wm vdW: "I am in the grip of another untenable situation. I'd better entrap Ivy into sounding like she's bribing me."
The Plan: He will say, "Pay me! Above the board!" and she will say, "Okay, no problem!" and then somehow that will destroy the will and cause Ivy to be eaten by dogs in the street, just like Juliet and Vanessa before her. Or at least freeze her assets long enough to come up with something that is actually a plan.
Blair: "That Rufus primps more than I do. Thank God they're finally gone."
Dan: "I have an idea for a sexy game we can play! Let's talk about all the times our attempts to have sexual intercourse have failed."
Blair: "Sexy idea! I shall enumerate them at length."
Blair: "That car alarm of Brooklyn has vanished my hard on."
Dan: "I am only heterosexual by default."
Blair: "I feel like your Cabbage Patch doll Cedric is watching us."
Dan: "Some fans just find callbacks a satisfying comfort in general, no matter how bald or pandering in the specific."
Blair: "Another failure to launch, I think."
Dan: "It is very realistic that we aren't having sex right now."
Blair: "It doesn't have to make sense! It just needs to be funny."
Dan: "Is that what this is? Comedy?"