Investor: "Is that my old meth dealer from Florida? No, it's film star Cam Gigandet!"
Nate: "I am not! I am Nathaniel Archibald, the owner of this thing. This magazine or whatever."
Investor: "Explain in greater detail the nonsense that your concern is all about."
Nate: "We are essentially a link farm that relies on black-hat SEO and the promise of celebrity nudes, dick enlargement and one weird secret to a flat tummy."
Investor, absolutely verbatim: "Isn't that Serena van der Woodsen? I've seen her in the 'society pages'!"
I cracked up for like an hour. I still don't know why, but that tickles me even days later.
Investor: "Serena, is it true that Ivy Dickens inherited everything from your grandmother Celia Rhodes? As has been reported everywhere, especially the 'society pages'?"
Serena: "I could tell you more, but you have to invest in our media concern of mainly journalism."
Investor: "You betcha!"
Nate: "Good work, lady. Your exclusive in with [every storyline usually] and the 'society pages' seems to have really put stars and money signs in that guy's eye. Hey, is that the first Gossip Girl post in a month?"
Serena: "Yeah, it took that long for me to get the laptop, even though it was last shown being hand-delivered by a courier."
Nate: "I can't wait to see what it says! I hope she didn't scoop us again, that old so-and-so."
Serena: "I haven't sit SEND or PUBLISH or whatever yet, but you should be getting the blast momentarily. Spoiler alert, it's about this party Ivy Dickens is throwing at my old house. To which my mother and I have been invited."
Nate: "A party? But my girlfriend Lola is the only caterer in New York City, so she'll probably be working! With whom shall I attend?"