Ivy: "CeCe loved us. She would want us to be close."
Lily: "The very fact that you said that to me proves you have no idea what you are doing."
Ivy: "We had a wonderful relationship once. I was like the Jenny you never had."
Lily: "Yeah, and the whole thing was a lie, so..."
In a rather well-orchestrated move, Ivy pulls Lily over to have their picture taken together, "for CeCe." Her hair is brassy red, and reaching Serena amounts of volume. It's just like Revenge, isn't it? Only instead of watching a somewhat righteous member of the 99 percent take down rich thugs for our entertainment, we're watching some inconsequential girl with bad taste take down ... the, uh, main characters of the show. Hmm.
JACK BASS RAPE CRISIS CENTER
This part is pretty good -- like all things on this show, it involves a truly insane amount of preparation for a one-joke gag, but it does it with élan. Chuck has changed the ribbon-cutting elegant party he promised into a blood drive for children with cancer! He drags Jack over to meet a little boy in a wheelchair and starts setting up this photo-op where Jack donates blood to him. Weird and unlikely? Maybe. I don't know what-all rich people are into these days. But I do think we can agree that car accidents and leukemia arise from roughly the same cause, and ultimately can be cured in a like fashion.
Jack: "Since when do ribbon cuttings involve crippled kids?"
Chuck: "Crippled kid sitting right here."
Jack: "Sorry, kid, but let's face it. You're crippled. Do not touch me."
They come closer and closer with the needle. "They" being the clowns or out-of-work actors that I guess Chuck hired to play medical professionals that would actually do a live, direct blood transfusion as entertainment for a gala. Jack jumps away, terrified that his Hep C blood will infect this little boy... And then the kid jumps up, whips off his wool cap to reveal a thick head of gorgeous hair, and climbs up Chuck like a monkey.
Chuck: "Yeah, that's right. Child actor. This little Hamlet-style play within a play within a gala within a new wing of a hospital was intended to illustrate your Hepatitis C infection. Consider it demonstrated!"
Jack: "Does this mean I don't get a hospital wing?"
Chuck: "Not necessarily, but I do need to know whose blood is up in me."