Lola: "Why was Ivy Dickens here?"
Nate: "That's just a fake name! Her real name is Charlie Rhodes, she's my friend's cousin."
Lola: "I guess in addition to not having the internet or newspapers where I come from, I also didn't know that I have a cousin, or else I would put a stop to this right now. I make less and less sense as time goes on. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to act all sketchy some more. These cocktail trays and crudite I should be passing aren't going to ignore themselves."
SO HARD FOR A RICH GIRL
Dan tries to wrestle the kissing photo out of Georgina's hands, and finally Georgie admits that she's Gossip Girl and that she just likes to see them squirm: The prenup, the marriage, the whole thing. So even if Blair likes him back, which she obviously has forever, there's nothing they can do without destroying Eleanor. Who apparently doesn't deserve it, because she's a great mom, brought to you by the Association For Eating Disorders Just Sometimes Go Away.
On a tear, Georgie now runs straight to Chuck to show him the picture too. I mean, it's his bedroom and I guess he has a right to know, but you'd think she'd be smarter than to poke that particular dragon until she was sure which way he'd jump. Maybe she's just off the chain and will start doing interesting things now?
Dan chases B down to her car, on fire with the news of the prenup, and she admits that she'll just be trapped for a year and she's not in love with Louis anymore, but that all the obstacles and burdens in the world, or lack thereof, don't change the fact that Serena is what matters in this equation, so happy Valentine's Day, and good luck with everything.
Philip: "Wait, explain things like one more time."
Georgina: "Like all my other blackmail leverage over Dan, this picture of him kissing B is meaningless because it's a swan song. Attacking Dan is the last thing I'll do as Gossip Girl, because he'll out me. So it has to be just right."
Philip: "So then... Wait, no. Explain it again."
Georgina: "Now, Dan knows that Blair loves him back. But they can't do anything about it, without getting Dan assassinated. So the more they can't, the more they'll want to. Eventually they will fuck. I will film it. Everybody dies at once, in a hail of bullets."